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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 17 and I have a 6 month old baby boy, but my baby's dad doesn't see him, which isn't my choice or his. It's my mum's because I still live at home and she made me break up with him when I got pregnant. But I miss him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): Stop having sex with people, get a job, and then read Nietzsche. Damn.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): You give very little information on 'why' Mom is doing this. So I will have to try and read between the lines. However, feel free to write back to this forum and give us more input and information.
The problem with Mom is very prevalent with teen rebelliousness and pregnancy and it could get a lot worse. It could be likely that your Mother is stepping in with an intervention, dear and you need to understand what your pregnancy has done and how it has deeply impacted your whole family. I can assure you, that your Mom never ever expected to be financially, emotionally and physically providing this type of monumental responsibility of supporting a teen daughter who brought a new baby into the home. I'm sure your Mother loves this new child, but look at your major role in all this and perhaps, so try to see what Mom is doing and why. Your Mom has had to sacrifice her time and finances plus greatly strengthen her parenting and guidance skills to provide you and you baby a safe place to flourish and grow. If I were you, I would appreciate it and accept it unless you and your bf can do better. I am also saying that if you are old enough to have sex and babies, you are old enough to shoulder the responsibilities of your behavior. I hope you are contributing in some way to helping your family shoulder all this. You need to realize the profound responsibility of this act (having a baby) I sincerely believe that every child born needs to have a father who deeply loves and commits to its mother-perhaps your Mom realizes your bf is not up the the task of giving you and her grandchild the best life and future. Sometimes teens react to a parent’s structured guidance with huge bomb-sized negativity of their own. This could be you. I think you and Mom need to sit down and talk this issue over and over until you can reach a satisfactory conclusion. If that doesn't worl, then seek some family counselling together and have a family therapist, who is well trained in thee matters, to assist you and her. Good luck, dear
Hugs, Irish
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (26 January 2006):
 your mum is being unfair and controlling, she may feel she is doing this for your own good but she needs to let you make your own mistakes.
you dont say where you are but if your in the uk then you could register with the council to get your own place.
why does your mum stop you seeing the babys dad is it because hes bad, abusing, takes drugs? if so then i would take her advice as it would be unfair to your baby to be exposed to that , but if it was just for lets say just 'getting you pregant' then find out how he feels and if he wants you and to be involved because if he does then he has rights (well i am going by uk laws, not sure about anywhere else but i assume it would be similar), he can take measures to have the right to see his baby, this could proove to your mum that he is responsible and does want to take his responsiblity seriously.
in the uk at 17 you have the right to leave home and see who you want, but make sure you are putting your baby first.
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A
female
reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (26 January 2006):
 Hey, I know that it is really hard for you at this moment but you have to be strong. I was told to break up with my bf as well from my parents and trust me the more strength you show them the more they will think that you are capable to handle a realtionship and a baby. I think that it is important for you to have contact with your bf and try to see him, if you can very rarely without your mum knowing. Good Luck. Remember Be Strong
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