A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:About 5 months ago my mum had an affair with my dads friend. My dad was furious when he found out and extremely upset, my mum sounded like she wanted to leave him completely for the other guy. I found all this out gradually while overhearing their arguments, and unfortunately being included in one of them.My brother found out the hard way, when my dad found a new phone which my mum owned (her phones in the past had been either broken or changed so the other guy couldn't contact her. My dad stormed off and revealed the whole thing to my brother, as he was on holiday here. Things were extremely awkward. My mum had broke down a few times, but not as much as my dad.A few months later, everything seems normal, until the doorbell rings and that other sh**head is there. My mum was trying to avoid him, and she told me that he was trying to get over her. He was supposed to be leaving the country anyway.Strangely enough, before the argument in the first paragraph, i had a dream the night before related to my parents and them breaking up. I ignored it as the rest of the dream was irrelevant. But that day they were arguing. Last night I had a dream about my mum and the other guy, and this one was more related than the last. My mums been on her phone abit today and she sent a text to a number which she dialled, and not one that was in her contacts list. This made me suspicious and as i walked past her she was on her phone, and when she walked past me she had her phone behind the clothes she was carrying in her hands, as if she was hiding it, whether she was just simply putting it down coincedentally, i'm not sure. But i just don't know what to think. I trust her a bit more than before but i am still unsure.And when i do suspect something, i want to tell my dad, but i cant. I dont want to start another argument cause they seem to get on well together now. I cant tell anyone, if i told my friends they would avoid coming to my house, and alot of them like my mum. My brother is overseas and my mum and him have recently been reconnected and he doesn't hate her any more,but im just not sure.
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female
reader, Sarah Love  +, writes (5 September 2009):
I have cheated on my husband several times with my sister's husband. Neither one of them know about our affair. I have mated with my brother-n-law several time and we both enjoy it. This has been going on for several years now, and I have been pregnant twice by my brother-n-law. The only ones who know about our affair is just me and my brother-n-law. I have been very lucky, but someday I will get caught.
More than likely, your mother is still cheating and she will always be a cheater. If I were you, I wouldn't get involed, because they will someday get caught. It's just a matter of time.
A
male
reader, Main Man  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 Perhaps you should talk to your mother about your concerns. Find out how she feels about your father does she still love him? if not are they going to separate or get a divorce? Tell her that you would like to know & not to treat you like a baby. After all you are old enough to understand things like this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): You mom is not being a good role model and you really should let your dad know. You and him cannot live with this because it is destroying the both of you. Your mother can live her life with lies, but the truth will come out on top. You are better than her, and everyone needs to know about the situation. The fact the guy came over to your house is one of the most disrespectful things besides continuing to have an affair behind your father's back. It is your safe haven, and home that should be the last place you don't feel safe. You don't trust you mom, and its quite clear she does not care about your or anyone in the family. You are old enough to know what she is doing is wrong, and is breaking the family apart. Your mom knows what she is doing, and you have the choice to tell her you will tell you dad, but you are going to have to tell your father either way. Whether you want to give her a warning, is your choice but you need to tell your dad. Do not worry about starting another argument between your parents because the trust is no longer there, and the situation is already bad enough. Shame on her making your life unhappy because parents should be a good role model. It is as if you are being her parent, when you should be enjoying your life and not having to worry about things like this. You and your dad can survive through this, but you have to do the right thing. It means you have to tell your father, and expect arguments to happen again. As much as you care for your mom, she needs to be taught a lesson. So be strong, and as the other person mentioned, the truth will always prevail. You can do this and survive this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): your mum knows that you knew about her previous affairtell her what you suspect and ask her outright whether she is/ or has she resumed her affair with your dad's friend.tell her your feelings. she was supposed to be a good role model to you.it is now no use me telling you to steer clear of her affair situation and let the adults work it out. It is out in the open and you all know about it, about the devastation it has caused thus far. your mum needs to account for her actions. Tell her that you will also talk about all of it to your Dad. You are not to blame if another argument arises. But your dad needs to know about this, your mum will continue with her affair until there is no marriage or kids left. she will destroying your family unit. Your dad needs to know that the other man also came to your home. Your home should have been your safe haven, instead your mum will turn it into a brother, bringing her lover there. Your brother also needs to be told the truth. Your mum is lying to everyone. Shame on her.it is so sad when kids are caught in the cross fire. unfortunately it is a reality, if your mother has no respect for your dad, maybe by you confronting her, she may caught a wake up call. She needs it and she has disrespected all of you enough, is enough. Your mum needs to answer for her wrongdoing. I am not telling you to rat her out for no reason. You may just hold the key to getting her to amend her wrongdoing ways. She is lying, cheating, betraying and failing in her duty as a mother and as a wife. Sadly she is too consumed by her lust to see the errors of her way. Maybe your dad needs to also confront her. she betrayed him and the trust is broken. Your mum will not learn. So she needs to be taught a lesson. She cannot destroy all you lives and still continue getting sexual gratification elsewhere. You are old enough to understand this. It is so sad when parents mess their kids lives and break their home. But you be strong. You and your dad will survive this. I wish you well, and please remember, the truth will always prevail. Even if your mum is living her life with lies, at least you will be better than her. And you are.
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