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Best friends like the same girl. need advice

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok i have been talking to a girl, who i will refer to as L, for the past 4-5 months.

We frequently have very long and interesting conversations through IM and texting (different colleges) and we have hooked up several times. A few weeks ago L began talking to my best friend , B, who is very similar to me personality wise, through IM and texting.

They started talking more and more and then about a week after they began talking, B told me that he liked L. I made it clear to him that I have feelings for L and B promised he would reduce the amount of talking he did with L and said that he would never put himself in a position with her that could potentially lead to them hooking up.

Over the last week or so, the usually engaging conversations I have with L have been inconsistent and her attitude towards me fluctuates between flirty and interesting to impatient and unengaged. She is talking to B more and more and he admits to me that he likes her but has no intentions of ever meeting up with her because of his busy schedule and the fact that he is moving across the country in the next month til august.

I have strong feelings for L and I know that she likes me, but I have talked about it with B and he likes her as well.

The problem is, over the past week or so I have reached the conclusion that L also likes B and at this point may even like him more than me, despite the fact that they have only met one time several months ago. My question is, am I justified in asking my friend to gradually stop talking to her over the next couple weeks to end this ridiculous situation and redirect her interest towards me?

View related questions: best friend, flirt, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

I don't think it's wrong to do that.

If I really like a girl, I will do absolutely everything it takes to make her love me. You sound like you're going to some lengths to have her, and B isn't too worried about what happens between them, so you deserve her much more.

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