A
male
age
30-35,
*castillo
writes:How do I move on?When I was a freshman in high school, I met this Senior. We got along very well. We dated for a year, then broke up, mainly because she went to college.Coming back for the summer, she informed me of the times she cheated on me - to which I was completely oblivious. Like an idiot, I took her back, for reasons I still cannot comprehend today...Anyways, that summer, I got her pregnant. At that point, I "stepped up" and put my family before me, giving up everything it is to be a teen - hanging out with friends, extracurricular activities, etc - to provide for them.We lived together for the majority of our son's first year. We eventually moved out of her parent's house and rented an apartment. On paper everything seemed fine - we got along, we bonded together, we took care of our son, we both have college plans, and we were making progress in life. But, I never did forgive her for what she did. I never got over it, I never fully trusted her. And what many people didn't know is that we were constantly fighting, over some of the stupidest things. We were miserable, and I decided to break up with her.She's been the only serious relationship that I've had. I love her, and I always will. But I know that I deserve better, and she deserves someone that can be happy with her.Any advice on moving on?I'm really having a hard time with this process.
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male
reader, White Tiger  +, writes (22 May 2012):
Dont say you cant forgive her as you mentioned you still love her!!You had to forgive her!!Forgive someone for their mistake in past is good thing and by fogiving someone you never become small!Forgiveness is always attitude of great persons!AND this attitude reqire most for long and happy relationship!!
A
male
reader, jasonvpn +, writes (22 May 2012):
Thats a tough one. Whew. The thing is, you took her back after she told you. And then you broke up with her for something you already knew. But I cant really blame you. At this age we make mistakes, some, incredibly stupid. But ultimately it is impossible to stay with someone you cant trust. And I can totally understand why you couldnt trust her. Cheating is so foul a betrayal of trust that it completely taints the relationship. I've gone through a difficult time lately as well. The past year has been hell, and having come out of it, I can offer two pieces of advice for you.1. Stay away from substances. When you are going through something difficult, it is easy to give in to substance abuse. Its easy and its addictive, and it feels good. Stay away. If you drink, stop.2. Get a copy of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, and read it. Pick out the parts that you like, that appeal to you, and read them over and over again. The Meditations gave me the strength and perspective to get through my troubles. I'd recommend the version translated by Maxwell Staniforth. There are no quick fixes for situations like this. Thats because the situation is not a problem, but it is now a part of your life. To not mess this up, to avoid future mistakes, and to plot your future, you will need the clarity of mind that sobriety grants you. For me, the Meditations was my guide, the way to press forward. Good luck brotha
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