A
female
age
36-40,
*onelybrokenhearted
writes:I started dating this guy about a month and a half ago and we hit it off right away. I knew he had gotten out of a long-term relationship about a month or two prior, but he reassured me that the relationship was long dead to him. Everything seemed like it was going perfect. It felt so comfortable and natural to be around each other and so wonderful. It was like we could be together 24/7 and it still wouldn't feel like enough. We were so comfortable and things were going so well, he even started bringing things from his parents' house (he still lived with his parents) over to my apartment, like his clothes and TV and things that generally mean you're feeling pretty confident about the relationship.Then, the very next day after moving all of his things in, we woke up together and had a typical morning. I was feeling pretty nauseas because of some medication I was taking to get rid of an infection, and admittedly, I was a bit cranky. We got into a stupid fight over really nothing that just kind of snowballed and went on longer than it should have. But after the argument I was apologizing for my crabbiness and telling him how I would try harder next time to think before I react and I asked him if we were okay and he said everything was fine.So I left for work and he texts me saying he was going to come up and get my apartment keys (there's only one set) so that he could grab the beer and go hang at his buddy's. I gave him the keys and a few hours later he came back and dropped them back off to me. He claimed it was just in case I got home first. He even smiled and winked at me like always, and said he was just going to his buddy's. But when I did come home from work there was a note on the counter that said word-for-word: "sorry if this hurts but I don't see this going anywhere." And every single item that belonged to him was gone from my apartment.Later that night I found out through the magic of facebook that he had called up his ex girlfriend and taken her out to dinner that very night. He wakes up in my bed in the morning telling me he loves me, then packs up all of his things and leaves me, and then takes his ex girlfriend out to dinner, all in one day! I just can't comprehend how someone can make such a drastic decision in a matter of hours like that. The hurt I have been going through is terrible, but I do understand that time will heal all wounds. What I want to know, is how can someone do something like that to someone else? How can you just change your mind about something so quickly? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (27 July 2009):
 It makes perfect sense to me...The guy is a fucking asshole. Straight the hell up. I am very sorry that this hap[pened to you, BUT:Look at it this way...You luckily did not invest that much time in it. It was apparent by his willingness to begin to move into your place so fast after you started dating (red flag that he considers you a rebound after a LTR)that he was trying to get over his previous relationship. He was a tactless asshole to do what he did to you, that is for sure.But he figured that he wanted to go back to her, and did'nt have the balls to tell you. What if this had happened after you were a little farther down the road with him? or even if he had been at your place for 6 months...you would be devastated much worse than you are now. Yeah it hurts sweety, but this fucktard did you a favor by showing you we was spineless before you got too involved. You did nothing wrong. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and don't give him the time of day.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (27 July 2009):
I can totally understand your confusion. Besides just doing a total 180, he couldn't even say anything to your face! What a wuss! I think that you just have to think that now for future reference, when things start moving too quickly, they're going to end quickly. The flame that burns the strongest and brightest will be the first to burn out.
I don't mean to pour salt into an open wound, but only being out of a long-term relationship from someone else for only a couple months takes some time to get over. Usually more than a couple months. And sadly, although everything seemed more than perfect, your relationship was just a rebound for him. I'm sure once his ex found out about his new relationship, that sparked a little jealousy and that was an open door for him to get back with her.
Don't fret. As much as it hurts and sucks right now, at least you weren't with him for too long and things like this only makes us wiser in the future. Take things slower and find out more about a person before you let them in too close and they break your heart like it means nothing to them. He's selfish and a coward. Nobody needs a little boy like that to take care of anyway. It happens to the best of us :)
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