A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been going out for a long time with my GF, and after some time now i moved out to her home country, (Germany), and been feeling isolated and lonely as i have nothing to do while she is at work, so anyway i started to look at her pics, and noticed some that had been deleted, so i looked inside her waste, and found a few pics of a guy and one where it looks like they are kissing, so understandly i got angry and started to send her insultive emails, and texts cos she was at work, we have since talked about the said picture and she denies kissing him, but now she doesn't know if she wants to carry on going on with our relationship, and i now dont know whether to stay here whil she makes her decision or go back to england,
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at work, kissing, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Deleted my ass. If they were really deleted, they wouldn't have been accessible in the recycle bin. I dont know if you seriously over reacted, you forgot to do one thing on those pictures: check when they were created. Cos if it was while you two were together, then you totally didn't over react, though you could've handled it a bit better. Post an update, did you check the date or not?
A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (15 April 2007):
 not being funny, but why is it such a shocker she had a pic with another guy? she proberly just forgot to delete it, not like your the only guy shes been with. Tbh this is a stupid reason to break up, fair enuf u didnt like it, and over recated, but it can be sorted, easily, apologise and make up with her, if u moved to Germany with her there must have been a damn good reason too, too big a reason to break up because of this. Hope you sort it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2007): I think you over reacted, the pictures were deleted, she obviously wants to forget this guy, and who knows how long ago or when they were taken....you have already confronted her about it without knowing the full story.
If she dated someone in your abscence is that so horrible? She wanted to be with you, that is why you are there, so if you want the relationship to grow, then you have to show some confidence in it and in her.
I can't tell you whether to stay or go. You say you are bored with nothing to do, if you can't find something to do and are unhappy there out of your country, then maybe it is not the right thing to be there with her. Timing is everything in relationships, and if you don't want to be in Germany, then that is your decision, but don't put the blame on her because you have changed your mind and are thinking of leaving. Own your own feelings and speak honestly about it to her, it is not fair to her to think she is the reason you don't want to stay, I suspect it has little to do with her, and everything to do with how unhappy you are feeling there.
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A
female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (15 April 2007):
 In your situation I cant deny that i wouldnt have done the same in the heat of anger. I already have done in the past! But it's done now so there's not a lot you can do to change it! just tell her you need to know where you stand and that you want to know who the guy is in the picture and if it is as innocent as she says (if it is what she says) then why are they in the recycle bin? If you ask me (i am a suspicious person i have been shat on) she is up to no good! but then again it could have just been an innocent drunken kiss that she regrets and would rather forget about. If that is the case then you need to decide if she is worth staying with cause you need trust. no point in a relationship with no trust.
hope you sort it out hun CC xx
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (15 April 2007):
 Sending her insultive texts and e-mails was never a good move to be honest. Letting your anger overwhelm you before knowing the whole truth has meant that you have hurt her, when all this may be innocent. You havent mentioned when this picture was taken?
You have made a very large sacrifice to move out there with her which is commendable. By accusing her straight away like that you have questioned her commitment and trust in the relationship.
You are out there now, so i would stay and be patient. You have to have an element of trust in what she says, and you must trust her otherwise you would of not moved out to germany in the first place. By leaving now you will only regret it, not knowing what could of been.
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