A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just recently moved out and somewhat separated from my boyfriend of 5 years. We talked of marriage over the years but he would go back and forth on this issue.We wnet through alot in those five years and i helped support him through much of it. Emotionally, financially, sexually...We had a couple of mini breakups before because he needed more space. But after a month or so he would come and ask me back saying he does love me and wants to work on things.A year or so before moving out He told me he needs more variety of women and wanted to be honest with me so he does not cheat on me.Thathurt alot because I did everything to please him in that department. We would have sex usually twice a day in a variety of ways...I would also dress up sexy and attend strip joints with him, in which he would become more frustrated. So he suggested an open relationship. He said he would love a harem. But still wants me in the picture!!...He finally brought up swinging, I figured I would give it a try because i had a few fantasies of my own. We had a couple of experiences which were not that wonderful for me. The problem was I am very picky in selection he is not...He will look at just about any woman...This caused alot of friction because I cant sleep with who im not attracted too so he missed out on more variety he said because of me. But anyways this all blew up in our faces. I moved out but we wanted to continue being friends.He gets down now because since separated I have been dating regularly and he has not had any luck. Hes now depressed about that, saying im his only friend?? my main question is can i remain friends with someone like this...For some strange reason I still care for him and understand he has issues I actually feel bad for him because he is not getting any action. I still sleep with him once a week and hang out alittle with him. Sex was always awesome for both..But he always needed more..I thought maybe he was a sex addict??Wodering wether to cut all ties?? I know he has issues, I do too but recognize that I do. I hate the back and forth feeling with him..Is it realistic to think that we can be friends?? or let it go for good??
View related questions:
depressed, moved out, my ex, sex addict, swinging Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): It seems he has a higher sex drive than you, and he is a selfish man you should count yourself lucky you are away from him and you should cut all ties because he is no good for your confidence if he wants to go out with lots of different women and go to swinging parties let him!!!!move on and find someone who is compatible with you in many ways sexually and mentally.....you deserve better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): I would say, 'no'. This guy is not a keeper. You are wasting valuable life time and emotional life on him. You have been putting up with all of this and supporting him too. (?) And your thanks is what? He wants you to still "be around"...Yeah, I'll bet he does! Stay moved out. And don't let him move in! I don't know what other "qualities" he may have that appeal to you so much, but I think there are probably many other guys out there who have them and are willing to keep them for only you.
...............................
A
female
reader, rachael123  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 i dont think hes a sex addict but i do think he is a selfish man. as you said you have been together for 5 years and thouhg you had built a strong and happy relationship. even though it wasnt your thing you tried for him and still it wasnt enough. if i were you i would cut all ties with him. he is using you for sex because he realisies now what he is missing because he now cannot get it elsewere.
what happens if you meet the one. and he is still hanging about and ruins it for you. i am sure you have more self respect than have sex once a week with a man who didnt give a toss about your feelings when you were together and only thought of his own needs. you are not his only friends, he is just saying this to keep you emotionaly attached to him.
meet up with him, tel him to get a life and move on, and you move on with yours, you dont need this idiot in your life. hope this helps, rachael xx
...............................
|
