A
female
age
30-35,
*ompuzzled_chick
writes:I have this guy friend that I've known for about 8 1/2 months. I found out seven months ago that he likes me.. When I found out I spazed and avoided him for a day. I felt so bad and decided to hang out with him agin, but I just now am starting to like him. Today I asked him a "hypothetical question" thinking that he's a smart guy, he'll know it's about us... well, I said "two people, let's say Jane and John..." and pretty much described our relationship. I ended it with "but now Jane likes John, but would John still like Jane?" And he said "Yes, hypothetically." I got over-excited and hugged him. But I've never hugged him before. He pulled me closer, I think. (Every time I think about it, I wonder more and more if I imagined it) After we hugged, he just walked away. I met up with him later to ask about what happened earlier, but he just changed the subject. I don't know if he really does like me because he acts like it never happened. If he likes me, wouldn't he just ask me out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, compuzzled_chick +, writes (19 June 2009):
compuzzled_chick is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just wanted to update everyone...!
Exams just began, and we met up at school today, just to hang out. Neither of us had an exam and he just wanted to hang out with me. I'm going away this summer, so he won't be my boyfriend until I come back. I talked to him on the phone for over an hour today and he tried to ask me out twice today, two times before today, I think... he hugs me every day like you all suggested and I wanted to thank you all. He is the best hugger EVER!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): Or ask him out , which i think would be more effective
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A
female
reader, compuzzled_chick +, writes (11 June 2009):
compuzzled_chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI took all your advice, thanks. I'm pretty sure he likes me because we hug every time we say goodbye and a couple of my friends were bugging us about being a cute couple (The ones that don't know I like him) and he started blushing. I think I might as well just ride the tide... give him some time.
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A
female
reader, compuzzled_chick +, writes (10 June 2009):
compuzzled_chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys, especially for being strightforward! Hearing that he likes me still makes me feel good, but I'd rather know the truth, I'm sure those who said he still does really think he does. Right now, I'm just at war with myself over what to do next. Once again, I really appreciate your advice!
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A
female
reader, cnbn123  +, writes (10 June 2009):
you don't need to ask him out hun, just make a closer relationship with him, slowly but surely wins the race, excuse the gimpiness of that, lol, just build on the hugs, make it a more regular thing, and i'm sure things will work out, but unfortunately it won't happen overnight! xx
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A
female
reader, compuzzled_chick +, writes (10 June 2009):
compuzzled_chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked him what he thought about us, not why he walked away or anything. I don't know what to do right now though, I'm too traditional to ask him out.
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A
female
reader, Kaylem +, writes (10 June 2009):
You were correct, he did understand the hypothetical question. As you said you hugged him, 'but i've never hugged him before.' Close contact with another person is extremely personal, expecially if one likes the other. My theory is that this contact spooked him the same way as you reaction when you first found out about him. He ignoring the situation is possibly due to him not knowing what to do next or that he is still quite shy to admitting feelings for you.
To ease your worries i would casually tell him, (alone) hypotheticaly, that if he is uncomfortable with the situation then you would wait until he feels comfortable to commence a possible relationship.
Or if more time has passed by now and he is acting the same or worse, then just ask him gently what happen that day when you asked the question, and does he still feel the same, or just prefer to be friends.
I hope this situation turns out right for you. Just remember boys at a young age are still quite shy bout being close to a girl. Its a feeling at such a young age possibly never felt before and sometimes takes a while to understand what feelings mean, the first crush is always strange scenario at first.
Kaylem
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A
female
reader, cnbn123 +, writes (10 June 2009):
now, i know this isn't what you want to hear hun, but i don't think he still likes you. I had this problem when i was 14, and i stayed confused for so long. I would say that you can try and win him back, which you can. If you want to do this, a major thing not to do is bring up what happened again, this would make you seem desperate, even though i'm sure you're not! Also, try to act a little more girlfriend-y by hugging every time you meet him, and every time you say good bye. As for the possibly imagining him hugging you back, i doubt you imagined it. Go with your gut feeling and your initial impression, which with most women is correct. Good luck with working it out, and do message me if you need any more advice, or if it goes well, if you want! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): Why did you ask what happened? It's obvious he likes you, he must have felt stupid when you asked! But yeah i think that you should go for it
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