A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 11 months broke up with me. She said she didn't love me any more, didn't want to be in a relationship and lost that "spark." This was 3 weeks ago and at first I was fine with it but then reality really hit me hard. What hurt the most was during this time I wasn't doing well financially, was feeling depressed and constantly worried about money, and she wasn't supporting me. Things weren't going well for me, plus the fact that we lived together wasn't helping. Things got boring because we saw each other everyday but I still tried to make things work and think of fun things to do. After we broke up I moved out 30 minutes away, even though she said I could still live with her. We never had a real break, so I figured this was the best for both of us. Now things are getting worse; car broke down so I have to stay on the other side of town because of class and work, running low on funds, my job isn't paying enough so I got another one, and now I'm eating less. I want to improve myself but it's really hard to now. When she was down and out, i was always there to pick up the pieces and now I feel like she can't (or couldn't/didn't) do the same. Now she has all these friends and things are going well for her financially and socially. I think she's trying to get my jealous because shes indirectly bragging about all this fun she's having. I want to get back with her but not now, not like this. At times I felt like I've been too nice to her. I'm not one to be pushed over but when it came to her I let a lot of things slide. Was that wrong? It seems like the root of all the problems was money. We couldn't go out because of money. And her insecurities. She always thought i'd cheat on her so she was really clingy and now all of a sudden she's nothing like that. I'm not really sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. But can someone help me? What should I do? What can i do? I either want to move on or get back together. However I don't know how long I can wait. P.S. I'm sure she still has feelings for me. After we broke up we hooked up a few times but I stopped it because I didn't want that to confuse me. Her character is weak and I think she's scared of everything half the times.
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male
reader, Matt269 +, writes (13 April 2009):
 i have a very similar situation at the moment. the difference is that my girlfriend and i broke up mutually because we felt we weren't good enough for each other. we had simply gave up. however we took a different approach and began to try again. anyways, i think that if she broke up with you and has all these insecurities then you should move on. she obviously had some growing up to do. maybe you do too. nut the best thing is that you spend some time away from her so that you can move on. if my girlfriend was like this and wasn't really trying to work things out with me then i would have an easier time moving on
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