A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i got married 8 yrs back and have got 1 kid, my problem is in the beginning of my married life my mother in law shouted at me for even small things now too but she keeps on telling my mistakes even now from the beginning. after my marriage she shouted at me and i was scared and rang up to my parents my brother in turn got angry and shouted at my husband after many sessions of talking my brother stopped talking with them and now his marriage has got fixed and i need to go for it for which they are against,but my husband keeps talking to me matters other than my family affairs. i want a cordial relation betwen my family and husbands family so that my milaw does not scold me with the same reason each time
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I feel your pain because im in a very similar situation. We married very late in life and i expected my 37yr old husband will obviously not be a mommys boy but was I wrong!
My advice to you is you need to clear your head and very calmly and respectfully talk to your mother in law.
Theres only so much you can take.Whatever you do be calm and respectdul.dont loose your temper and hang in there!
Women are very strong. You are very strong to be going through that for so long. the best would be If you can convince your husband to tell her in his own way.that way she will hopefully back off and let you live!
Goodluck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): I've researched a lot about mother in laws and haven't found anything quite as good as Susan Lieberman's book "The Mother In Laws Manual".The best part - you can get an 8 page gift idea list which has really great ideas.My mother in law is easy she enjoys handmade things. Im not the craftiest person so I make it with my kids! I hope this helps - I know it will.http://motherinlawsmanual.com/Chrissy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Your flag says you are from India. If you are residing in a western country, western people may be able to give you some advice. If you are living in India, they cant becoz they may not have enough idea about how it works here. In Indian culture, mother is almost deified. Though the society is a patriarch one with women being oppressed, the status of a mother is a huge one. Mother is the symbol of sacrifice. Most guys will be mommy's boys all their lives. They will want their wives to cope with their moms. You will have to keep that in mind. You can ask your husband to move away from his mom and live in a separate house, but if his mom depends on him he wont do that atleast fearing how the society will see it. If your husband is loving and reasonable in other things, you must be happy. Most guys wont like their wives' brothers yelling at them, becoz they will think it is a big insult to their status. Status of a guy in his wife's family is a big one in our place you know. Think carefully and act very wisely. A westerner may tell you that if your husband doesnt cooperate it may be time to get a divorce. But it is not easy in our country to divorce your husband and move on. Most of us Indian women dont want to do that, I am sure you yourself dont want that as well. Even if we want at some point, it is damn hard. You will be scorned by the society. Even your parents will be against you. So be careful and be ready to make certain compromises in life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): I hope this link helps you as you can see it is really the responsibility of your husband / boyfriend / partner to back you up.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-in-laws-hate-me-and-my-husband.html
...............................
A
female
reader, noticable  +, writes (1 April 2009):
Sometimes understanding family is the hardest thing you can do. Your brother is important, I know my brother is and I love him to bits because he's always there for me.
Even if you mother in law is horrible towards you, be the bigger person and be nice back to her, agree with her in some way make her start feeling guilty and show your husband that you are trying. Then when your husband is in a good mood ask him whether you can visit your family.
Maybe it will work, maybe it won't but reverse Psychology most of the time works.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
