A
female
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anonymous
writes:I'm having a problem with my husband. He always feels the need to correct EVERYONE about almost EVERYTHING they say.For example, I'll say that the sky is blue and he'll "correct" me by saying that it's cyan. Or if a friend says that they're cold, he'll say that no, it's comfortable.He always used to do this, but it was never as bad as it is now. It used to be pretty infrequent, but now it's with almost anything that anyone says.I've tried to talk with him about it without getting angry. I've even tried bringing it up when we're in pretty good moods to kind of try and catch him at his best moment. But he just gets defensive and denies doing it.What can I do? It's gotten to the point where it's driving me, his friends and our families crazy! Most of his friends have stopped talking with him, and I think it's because of his need to correct people all the time.One of my family members even got to the point of shouting at him - she said that she was sick of saying that something was white and hearing from him that it was black - and then calling something black and hearing from him that it was white. Then he told her she needed to stop being so hostile!Please help! Thank you in advance! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, guys.
I'll try bringing it up more. I haven't been doing it all the time because I figured it'd just turn into an argument. But it probably would help him to finally realize that he does it so often if I make him notice it by talking about it whenever it happens.
The other day he came home from work and told me that his co-worker told him he needs to stop being so "combative" when he talks with people. Not a good sign.
I had actually thought about the tape recorder before, but I think that would lead to an argument about Big Brother or something, knowing him. Maybe I'll use that as a last resort.
Thanks again!!
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (13 September 2007):
I agree with AskEve.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Every time he does it, pick him up for it! Time and time again, if it annoys you when he corrects you then it will annoy him MORE when you point out what he's doing. It's all a power thing. Tell your friends and family to point it out too when he corrects them and to laugh every time he does it. If he starts getting annoyed then let him know that that's how YOU are feeling BEING corrected all the time. CONTINUE to do this and I'm sure he'll soon get the message.
Eve
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Well, it's a bit extreme, but why don't you plant a tape-recorder near an area where the two of you might be sitting and talking one evening, and just start the conversation like you would normally, and see how many times during the span of this discussion, he corrects something you've said. Stay calm and continue talking as if nothing is going on. After about 30 min. or an hour if your tape is long enough, bring up the subject calmly and say that you're concerned about this behavior, and how it may be impacting friends and family that used to associate with you. When he flies into a fit, or starts denying it, calmly walk over, pick up the hidden tape recorder, rewind it and play it back to him. Maybe if he can hear himself, he'll see the pattern. It could be that he'll need to calm down and listen to the tape on another day, when he's more neutral so you may have to wait until you know he'll be receptive to listening to himself in dialog, constantly contradicting what everyone says. Maybe even a family intervention would help him see that he's driving people away with this behavior. But it should be done lovingly, not like an attack. It has to be coming from somewhere, and it's probably going to take a few counseling sessions before he understands the complexity of why he feels the need to do this. My guess is, it stems from some sort of insecurity, and his need to feel more intelligent and superior than others. But that's just an abstract guess. A real therapist should be able to get to the bottom of the problem and get him to break the habit. Good luck.
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