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female
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*Jones
writes: Hello,It was my 37th birthday in March of this year and this question feels like something a teenager would be asking. I celebrated my birthday with a big group of women I was proud to call my friends. These women ranged from 29 to 53, each with a history and meaning which is priceless to me. It was the first time all my female friends had been together in the same place, it was a wonderful feeling.I haven't felt the same about some of my friends since. I appear to have been abandoned. Over the year, one by one my friends have abandoned me. I have been suffering with a broken heart but every woman apart from two have disappeared. It is not as if I have even had the chance to bore them with my feelings, they are just not there for me anymore. I can count 7 of them who have cancelled an arrangement at the last minute, not returned my calls or turned down an invitation recently, that's 7! I can't go into each scenario or person but they are all so different with different circumstances so I can only assume it is me. I have always tried to be a good friend and have had such fun with these people in the past. What's going on? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (16 October 2006):
 I don't mean to be mean but....
Most of that seemed to be about YOU....They have abandoned me. Now first of all...your just a bit younger than I am. wow..congrats for having someone give a dang about your birthday....I don't have many Girlfriends...they don't like to do the things I enjoy...dirt-bikes, golf, building things, outdoor things, traditional Man hobbies..so when I find a girl who loves these things...believe me I latch on. But I have a large number of guy friends who would never Think of celebrating a birthday party with me. Your really lucky. Know what I got for my baby shower? (which was not any kind of a party...just a bunch of guys over on a sunday for football) A lawn mower....LOL
Did you reciprocate? did you forget their day?
Have you called them and told them that you really miss talking to them and that if they have something going that you don't know about...to please fill you in. "I have not heard from you in a while...and I just want you to know that If you are busy its fine...but if you need ANYTHING you know I am there for you?"
Don't mention....your broken heart, ex,how sad you are etc....even if you think you don't talk about it all the time............believe me....you do.
In other words....stop thinking about this in Terms of YOU having done something or been abandoned. Think of it in terms that one of your friends could have cancer..another an Ill parent...another may have lost a job and feel depressed or embarrassed like nobody will want to hear from old unemployed me....they have lives Too. And those lives are filled with ups and downs....they can't always be there for you EXACTLY when you need them.
Now if you have done something RUDE....You better fess up...apologize and try to make it up to them.
Also...some friends are there for a life time....others are only there for a short time. Neither is a bad thing. Best of luck.
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