A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I WONDER if I’m gay because I get more excited about nude pics from my online lover than I do about sex with my wife.Sometimes I imagine being in bed with him when I’m getting intimate with my wife. He lives in Canada, and I'm here in the UK.I’m 45, my wife’s 39 and we’ve been together for 17 years.Our marriage has been smooth sailing but the sex doesn’t excite me any more. We’ve tried it all. Apart from threesomes, which neither of us want or like.One night while she was asleep, I started researching ways to spice things up.Many websites suggested a threesome. That’s not something I think I’d enjoy and I don't want and don't like.But when I thought about having sex with a man, I got aroused.I’d never thought about sleeping with a guy before. My Catholic mother would roll in her grave if she knew I was having these thoughts.I was curious and ten minutes later I’d made an account on a gay hook-up site to look at what was on offer.I matched with a good-looking guy in the next town from me. He too was in a boring marriage and looking for some fun.We ended up sexting until the early hours.I’d never had these thoughts before and now I was basically cheating on my wife.When a message from him came up, I couldn’t leave it. I had to know what else he was imagining. This has been going on for months now. We’ve sent nude pictures and videos and sometimes have virtual sex over FaceTime.I can’t stop thinking about him. Does this mean I’m gay?
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male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (25 May 2022):
 I'm no expert on this but I am pretty sure that after 45 years you don't just all of a sudden wake up and be attracted to the opposite sex, there must have been some sort of niggling attraction in your early years.
Either way I think that you need to decide what you really want because you are now being unfaithful to your wife, who you have been with for 17 years.
Even though you have had no physical contact you are conversing with someone else and exchanging sexual correspondence, which in my book is being unfaithful. Just because you are sexting with males makes no difference.
Like I said in the beginning, I don't think you all of a sudden just become gay.
I think your wife deserves better, how would you feel if she was doing this to you behind your back?. I'm guessing you would not be to happy.
Decide what you want, do you want to keep this marriage, or do you want to lead a single life sexting strangers on the internet. Only you can answer this.
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