A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have a bit of an issue,i am with a guy who is 3 yrs older than me, we've been going for 9 months, i stay at his flat on the weekends nd i use his laptop for internet access while im there, everytime i type an address in the address bar, it will come up with the history and theres websites in there such as tamedteens.com, camwithher.com and sexhymen.com.wen we first met he had porn on his laptop, but he deleted it when we ended up talking about it one evening.he used to go to college which was so far away he took advantage of the in-college accommodation, therefore was able to watch porm etc. without his parents finding out.its getting me down but i wanna no wat u lot think on it, is it normal or is he tryin 2 tel me something eg. hes bored with me, doesnt love me anymore etc.i hope its just normal or something very minor, as i dont want to lose him cause when hes in the right mood hes a really gd boyfriend!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Men are highly sex creatures and they think of sex every 15 minutes according to some studies.
They cannot expressed their sexual urges and demand that you meet their needs every now and then.
They can only watch porn to quell their sexual urges
otherwise you would think they are sex fiends or sex perverts.
It has got nothing to do with you.
It is a safety valve for them or they would go and have sex with others or commit rape.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): I know what you are going through. It is likely that your partner is addicted to porn. I suggest that you Google Reovery Nation and No-porn. They will give you some useful insights and help to you deal with this in your own right.
You have all my sympathy - it's a hard road for you and your partner
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): Perfectly normal. Got nothing to do with you or how beautiful you are. Some men like looking at porn, no matter if they have a girlfriend or not.
Look at some of the posts on pornography on this site. You will see this is a hot subject. Some women hate it and will leave their men because of it. Some of us are more realistic and realise that this is not a fight worth having, some of us actually like it and have a porn stash of our own.. Each to his own.
You gotta decide how important this is to you. Do you wanna leave him over it. Can you share it with him? Can you ignore it? But if your gonna leave, realise that a lot of men like looking at porn and your new boyfriend probably will too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): No honey he's not trying to tell you anything, it's natural and normal, but for us girls dating the guys watching it, it's not nice! Why not talk to him about it again? I wouldn't advice forcing him into anything honey though because otherwise he could start to wonder if he really wants to be with someone that nags at him for pleasing himself. Maybe you could watch it together? Then he gets the added pleasure of you being there while he enjoys porn. But if you feel this is not the best thing to do, then all you can do is talk to him about it and do your best. If he really does love you, I'm sure he'll find the strength in himself to stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): I have the same feelings with my partner, and his collection of porn. But like the last answer, men all do it. And i had to realise thats all it is too it. I still feel hurt to know that he does it, and feel let down, and that im not satisfying him. Must remember men think and feel differently to woman. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, SnowyWater +, writes (23 May 2008):
It is common, but I wouldn't say normal. Porn upsets so many women, but they compromise on it just because they are told that this is how guys are. I don't believe that I guy who watches porn necessary lacks something within the relationship and that there is actually a "cheat"threat etc. No. But the way porn depicts women and the way men interact with it is just plain ugly. You never know if your intimate picture want some day end up on a website with the caption "my ex-gf getting it hard from behind". The primary purpose of porn it for men to exchange the evidence that they can pleasure a woman. If he watches porn then he is not worthy of being with a woman because he is emotionally screwed up. Don't wait until you are screwed up as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): Awww. Poor thing.
I think I'm one of the few person's out here that are against porn. Everything thinks it's normal for guys, etc...except myself.
I would see it in the same manner: I'm not good enough to fulfill his needs, right?
Well, from what I've heard, most guys watch porn regardless of whether they are with someone or not. I even watch a bit of porn with my partner so that we can try out new positions, however I would take him watching porn by himself as cheating...but these are just MY views, and not society's views by any means.
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A
female
reader, PreciousNY  +, writes (23 May 2008):
It is very normal, and most guys, especially at his age watch porn. It has nothing to do with you or your relationship, although I understand why you would feel that way as most women do. And it certainly doesn't mean he is bored with you or doesn't love you. It's just something guys do....they are visual creatures that like to look at women. Believe me, he is not trying to tell you anything by what he's doing. And he is just watching porn, not out cheating on you. Don't let this get you down....it's not worth it and you are using too much negative energy for nothing!! If it would make you feel better, you should talk to him and I'm sure you'll be very happy with his re assurance.
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