A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:UPDATE: "Worried about this teacher and my friend. What would a 30 plus year old man, see in a 17 year old girl anyway?" I posted a situation on here the other week: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/worried-about-this-teacher-and-my-friend-what.html (Read to understand the situation.)The situation has gotten worse as my friend has now met up with him and went to his house the other day!! He gave her wine, they talked and kissed most of the night!! She said they did nothing more... but I'm sure it is not just kissing he is after!! He is a Teacher and she is a Student, What he is doing is wrong in SO many ways!! What do I do? I'm Really worried about my friend, especially now things are getting worse! Help apprenticed! xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Maybe he's just fallen in love with your friend? If he'd lose his job for her, he must be! But I suppose i understand why you're worried.
I'm 19 myself, and is maaaadly in love with my 40 year old teacher. I would do anything to have the kind of relationship with him, that your friend has with her teacher!
I hope it goes well for her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Thanks for all your replies, you have been great! I am glad there is a site like this because I cannot speak to anyone I know, thanks! :)TO the anonymous reader, (8 February 2007): Yes she is still a pupil to the school and she only turns 18 at the end of this year!!Since I last updated the situation, she has met up with him again and they did things (apart from sex)… she is supposes to be going to his house again tonight to sleep over but I managed to make her change her mind so she is now just going over to see him (I hope). ……… I’m scared to do/say anything because the Teacher NOW knows I know everything about the situation!!!!! So I cannot say anything because if I do then he will know I have told someone… :(This is so hard… I wish I never knew! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Obviously it is wrong because a between the ages of like 16/17 you aren't allowed to date anyone over the age of 24. However there is also other factors to consider. Is she still at school with him as a teacher or has she/is she planning to leave and will she be 18 soon? If you are really worried and think it would be for her own good (if she is still a pupil) I think you need to tell your guidance teacher cos this is against the law cos of his age and also the fact she isn't an adult. If she isn't at school then I recommend you just look out for her and maybe tell her that you really think he is only after her for sex. Perhaps that's what she wants you just don't know until you ask her. Let us know what happens
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007): Unfortunatly there is nothing you can do in this situation but be there for your friend if anything goes wrong. Some relationships work better when there is an age gap (my dad is 10 years older than my mum). However if this isn't the case, be a good friend and let her learn from her own mistakes, just be a shoulder to cry on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):
There is little you can really do in this situation other than to be there for your friend should it ever go wrong and she need you.
You can't keep criticising the relationship or you will loose her as a friend and you can't really tell the school because it will most likely make them closer and you will loose your friend and then you won't be much help to her at all.
The best thing, I would suggest, is if you genuinely care for her, is to tell her your views but then to leave it and to instead just be supportive and a friend to her if she needs you.
The teacher is clearly wrong for allowing this relationship to develop, he is taking advantage of her and putting his own feelings, desires and needs before the responsibility of being a teacher and a role-model - shame on him. However, it doesn't necessarily mean she is in any big trouble.
Sadly as friends sometimes the only thing we can do is see people we care about fall in to bad and painful experiences and there is nothing we can do but support them if and when they need. In life we generally only learn from our mistakes, and if you feel your friend is making a big mistake then unfortunately (for her) she will have to make it herself and there is nothing more you can do.
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