A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello and thanksMy husband is very moody. More than usual. He's always more or less has an attitude its his way or no way, and I really don't like it. He says he's stressed from work, he does work lots he has alot of hours and is in management. I do understand that can be stressful but I also understand I don't deserve the bad behavior from him. We have been together 20 years and for many years I worked and supported us and didn't behave like I was the king of the house. I keep telling him if he doesn't like it then find another job. It's like talking to a wall. He nit picks in everything. It's like walking on egg shells Any advice? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2023): It's time for a serious talk and communication about his behavior; and to let him know his behavior is getting worse. You've confronted him about it; but you can no longer tolerate it, without considering the worst case scenario. As the most immediate remedy, you'll consider marriage-counseling; because you can't get your point across otherwise. You are beginning to feel abused. Tell him your marriage is in trouble; because his behavior is becoming unbearable, and you don't know what to say or do. You are done enduring it!
There comes a time in every marriage, or relationship, when you have to have a confrontation about behavior that has become too much to handle or accept.
I've recommended marriage-counseling, because you have a spouse with an impenetrable skull; and inflexible male-ego, that doesn't allow you equality, or any right to challenge him. He knows his behavior is unacceptable; but he continues to get progressively worse, as if you have no say about it. Well, grow a backbone, and put your foot down. It will continue, otherwise.
Schedule an appointment with a marriage-counselor and therapist. Offer him an ultimatum to go to counseling with you. Make it abundantly clear, you're done with being muscled around in your marriage, and in your own home; because he's having a midlife crisis, and a tough time dealing with the demands of his job. Your home is not where he comes home to unleash his anger and frustrations; it's where you are to offer him love, comfort, and support. You will not tolerate his mood-swings anymore!
You'll endure his aggression and harsh treatment; until you take a tougher stance. He will likely refuse counseling; and gaslight you into believing you're being unreasonable, and there is no problem with your marriage. He will even be sweet for awhile; and put on an act to avoid having to sit through a counseling session, where he is forced to listen to you, a mediator, and deal directly with those marital issues he has been deflecting. His behavior is emotional-abuse; so call it what it is!
I don't always throw-up the word "divorce' as the be-all remedy to marriage-problems and disagreements. You do everything humanly possible to salvage your marriage; until enough is enough.
When women are too timid to deal with male-aggression, and don't know how to confront willful bullheadedness; they have to seek professional counseling. Be it through personal therapy, or in joint-counseling and therapy with their spouse.
Many women don't know how to deal with someone like that. If he refuses to compromise; then you will have to be strong enough to consider how much more you will endure, and what you will seriously do about it.
It will get much worse, before it gets any better. You are better off without an abusive overly-aggressive husband; than remaining with someone who will slowly wear you down into poor mental and physical health.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2023): Test
...............................
|
