A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I just dont know wht to do anymore. For the last year i've been trying to get this girls parents to allow us to date. well 6 months ago i got my wish and we've been dating ever since. my problem is that she constantly has mood swings, doesnt trust me, and is not that mature for her age(16).I love her but this is the first time since we've met that i actually didnt think we would be together 10 years from now. this is not the firt time i've wanted to end it but shes been hurt so many times i just cant do that to her. As if thats not enough my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and when i really need my girlfriend the most shes REALLY immature.I know my question is a long one but any help would be desperately appreciated.(QUICK SUMMARY)My girlfreind is really immature, doesnt trust me, and has massive mood swings but i DON'T want to end it and need advice.
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female
reader, queenette +, writes (31 March 2008):
I think you should try to be more understanding of her, she is probably a cancerian. The best way to handle this situation is to give her an assurance that you will always love her.... and always get to do this often. People like her are usually emotional in nature and when you appeal positively to their emotions, it often works. And of course you would see how possibly wrong you are about thinking she is too immature to show sympathy towards your mum and help both of you through this period. Wishing your mum a miraculous recovery.
A
female
reader, smexii1313 +, writes (1 February 2008):
Look, you should talk to her. Maybe shes been thinking and has alot of problems. At least things that she thinks, is a problem. Just talk to her and see what's wrong, and maybe it has something to do with her physically or emotionally. So cut her some slack. I understand where shes coming from, cause I'm the same way with my boyfriend. Just cause I have alot on my mind, and it's stressful. Just give her a chance to talk to you about it, and try to straighten it out before you do anything else. Tell her how you're feeling about you guys, and see what she says... I hope this helps. smexii1313
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): I think that at this troubled time, you really need the support of your girlfriend, it's really about you here not her, but this is serious -i would advise you to use this as an opportunity to tell her how delicate you feel and how you need her to try and be more considerate and supportive. However, you know the last thing you want is an argument and this girl does sound immature and quite volatile so when you're expressing your feelings to her, don't sound accusing and let her know that your feelings aren't personal to her, as this is a very hard time.It's almost impossible for her to think about herself here anyway, i agree that communication could be the key-maybe this could be a pivotal point in your relationship. Anyway im sure you'll get through this and everyone is preying that your mum gets better, i know two people who have had breast cancer-and both have beat it, so take care and be strong youll get through this x
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (1 February 2008):
Have you talked to your girlfriend about how her behaviour is affecting your relationship?
I know all of us women have mood swings, I can be really narky a few days before my period, and this is probably something that will die down for her once her hormones are more settled and she has learned to cope a little better. She probably doesn't even realise that she is being that moody - I know I don't always until my husband picks up on it.
But her not trusting you is something you can do nothing about (assuming you haven't done anything to make her lose her trust in you). You can reassure her forever and she still may never trust you - it's your girlfriend that needs to deal with her insecurity herself. Try to talk to her and see what her fears are exactly and ask her what you can do to help ally them but ultimately a relationship without trust is not a good relationship.
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