A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Omgosh I'm so stressed.. I've been talking to this guy for about a month now and everything is going pretty good! I met him through my best friend's husband... Well unfortunately he lives about 1700 miles away :-( well he bought me a plane ticket to go visit in a couple of days! I really appreciate that he did that for me and I'm excited to go c him but I'm just soooo stressed because I really can't afford it. The holidays are coming and I have about a thousand dollars n debt to pay off before I cam even consider going on vacation! I'm so happy he's in my life and I'm happy I'm finally going to see him bt at the same I can't get my finances of my mind. It's taking away from my excitement of going to c him. He knows money is low on my end but he tells ms not to worry about things. Were both really young but.. I js want to enjoy myself without worrying about coming home to bills..
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (6 November 2010):
I agree with the previous poster. You should ,in fact, worry about your finances and paying your debts off , rather than about having fun during your holiday. Like, taking an extra job for the holidays, - or cutting your current expens, rather than adding new ones.
If I were one of your creditors I'd be pretty irritated about it and I would make sure to never lend you anything again.
It's true that this guy is offering to take care of you but, I don't know, I'd feel pretty awkward letting a man that I barely know pay for everything I need at this early stage of the relationship. I'd feel that I am taking on too big of an obligation, particularly in case the story should not progress , or should stop, after meeting in person.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): sounds like you are an impulsive spender, impatient to have everything now. Poor money handling skills can end a romance and does end marriages every day. And this generous boy is offering to pay your fare to see him. Yet you hardly know him. If your refusal to go right now ends in your losing him, that wil be tough. There wil be expenses if you go, and you wil need your money for those expenses. Money you can ill afford to waste until you have paid all your debts off. At least you know around about what you owe. Clear that debt now. By instalments if necessary. And develop a sustainable long term budget. A budget where you regularly safe a little each week There wil be a need to live with delayed gratification. This boy is being generous. But you are not ready to vacation until you have paid off your existing debt and built some savings up.
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