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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok my problem has to do with my mom. I have been seeing this guy and I want him to meet my parents my dad is totally ok with it, but my mom is very judgmental, she has this ideal guy in her head and if a guy I'm interested in doesn't meet her standards she starts talking badly about him. So how can I bring him to my house with out my mom giving me her opinion? Is their something I can tell my mom before he actually comes to meet her? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ldaybug90  +, writes (7 February 2009):
I think your mom is like my mom. She's being judgemental to my in-laws right because my husband is sick and in a rehab for trying to walk again. If I listen to my mom's opinion all the time well let's say that I do have my say and it doesn't count. My in-laws do care about me. This will be her son-in-law someday. She better get use to the idea of your relationship with this guy. If makes you happy and your the only one can tell if he's the one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): Don't be afraid of what Mom thinks. Listen you are an adult female and you can date whomever makes you happy and respects you. Some parents go through life thinking ' no one' is good enough for their kids. Some parents, for whatever reasons of their own, disapprove and judge unfairly. This is just the way it is and it's their problem, not yours. Your Mother must learn to step aside. Parents are there to offer us support, love and opinions, but only if we ask for it. They are not there to further control our lives through unwarranted criticisms and judgements. If this guy makes you happy, if he likes you, tell him what to expect. I would think any supportive parent would say ...'great, we are happy for you!'
Just be happy,yourself, dear and don't allow other peoples thoughts and opinions to take you down. Do what's best for you and tell your Mom, that you want her to hold some 'respect for your life and your decisions and that you want her to be nice to this new guy" before you bring him around. If she doesn't promise that, then make a decision with him...as to whether it's the right time to meet Mom. If it's not the right time now...then don't so it. The choice is yours to make as it's your life. But please consider talking calmly to Mom and asking her to make the break from deciding whose best for you. That is no longer her decision. It's only yours to make. Good Luck, dear!
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A
female
reader, mosie +, writes (19 January 2009):
You are growing up. Your mom is probably just afraid of losing you. My mom was afraid of that when I was your age. Can you ask your dad to help you out? Your mom might tell him REALLY why she is the way she is about guys. I think letting just your parents talk together by themselves could help your mother not be so defensive or "cornered." The three of you could then sit down together and talk about it; three adults talking about a situation maturely could help your mother relax a bit. That also lets her see that you are mature and responsible. Good luck to you!
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