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Mom is drinking, wondering if she's going crazy, how to handle this?

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Question - (18 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

If nothing else, I'd like to use this space to vent. Advice and even just opinions would be fantastic.

To begin, I think my mum is going crazy. I remember that the only time my mum used to drink alcohol when I was younger was on Saturday nights and special occasions. But now, since my brother's 5th birthday (he's 9 now) she's drank every day and yet refuses to admit she has a problem. If she's short of money and therefore can't afford alcohol, she'll be in a bad mood with everyone for stupid little things but my dad usually gives in and buys her some, and as soon as she's had a drink she becomes friendly again.

She also loses her temper for the slightest thing. For example, a few days ago she was in the kitchen watching whatever she wanted and I was in the living room watching a DVD and I'd already seen half of it the day before so I forwarded it to the part I hadn't seen yet and she came through and was annoyed about it. Fair enough I don't live there, but I did ask her first and she said yes but it was like she didn't remember or suddenly changed her mind.

I would love more than anything to tell her how she's acting and how it makes us all feel but she can't take it when someone points out her flaws.

I don't know what to do. Please help!

View related questions: money

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A female reader, el Lori United States +, writes (19 June 2009):

el Lori agony auntHoneypie is right, you should check out AL-Anon which is a support group for family memembers with a love one who is an alcoholic. Also there is Alteen. this is there website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

The said truth is alcoholics can not be helped unless they want it. As Honeypie said there are a number of reasons why someone starts to drink. My best advice to you is get yourself some help. Go to the meetings or a therapist so you can vent and learn how to cope. My best of luck to you and its not easy I know

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntThe sad thing with alcoholics is that you can not help them til they are READY to help themselves.

I know there are a lot of websites and forums dedicated to support children of alcoholics. I would try and find a support group (either on he web or close to you) and see what help you can get.

There can be so many reasons as to why she has started to drink. All from hormonal issues ( menopause) to depression, loss of a loved one, loss of job, financial problems.. you name it, it can "drive" certain people to drink.

You might want to talk to your dad. He knows what's up or might have a good idea. Unfortunately he is enabling her illness.

I'm sorry Im can't be more helpful, this is not really a subject I know much about.

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