A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my very strict mother found out that me and the love of my life hes 17 and im 16 have been having sex. and now we are banned from seeing eachother. we used to text eachother like every second and now i dont have a cellphone anymore, and the house phone has been removed from my room, my car has been taken away and my heart is breaking and so is his. im so lost without him and im pretty sure all chances of us having a happy life together where i am still able to be on good terms with my family is gone. what do i do?
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (6 April 2010):
 Your mom is just taking care of you. You are young but eventually you will understand your mother. Just behave be a good daughter and give your mom time to calm down. Once calm and punishment is over ask her if you can continue to see your boyfriend always in presence of others of course. If you talk to your mother she will probably accept but remember to respect her rule and hold on in sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): its hard to think of our babies all grown up and having sex etc, must have come as a shock for your mum and i do not blame her for acting accordingly because you are young. However i think some compromise may be needed here. You could suggest dating your boyfriend whilst in the company of your family or very trusted friends only - i knoe, its bites not to be trust but if he is the love of your life then supervised visits seem better than no visits at all. Try suggesting this to your mum when she has chilled out a bit - explain you know how she is feeling and why she acted how she acted but you do love your boyfriend and rather than sneeking about any further and going behind her back to see each other, maybe family supervised time together could be suitable for all. You get to spend time with your boyfriend and your mother does not have to worry about her young daugther being impregnanted. Worth a shot anyway me thinks :)
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A
female
reader, help heros  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 i can see your mam point my mam was the same with me. she is only looking out for you. she needs to see your not a baby no more and that you are sensible. she needs to treat you like an adult not a child. you and your boyfriend to talk to her but first i think you and mom should sit down and talk you and you andhould be the cloest of friends and be able to tell each other things n help each other. i dont agree with your mom taken all your things off you at the end of the day youre 16 not 6. she has to relise that you are old enough to walk out and do what you like. she is just doing a mothers job looking out for you but i think she has gone to far. try talking to her and tell her you dont want to hurt her or nything but your not a baby and would like to be treat like an adult. she must know at 16 all girls try this type of thing it is juts part of life aslong as your and your boyfriend use a condom xx talk to your mam tho hun x
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A
female
reader, advice angel +, writes (6 April 2010):
 ok,all mams are very sttrict,but you have been having protected sex,yu and your boyfriend love eachother dearly by the soounds of it so there is no problem.
you have been sensible enough to wait untill you where 16,you mam has gone way overboard,ok taking your stuff away is ok :/ but banning you from seeing him isnt :/
you need to talk to your mam and tell her you love him!!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 In my mom was born in 1948. Whenever her friends call her dad would yell at them, "Don't call her anymore" and slam the phone down. She still got to hang out with her friends and had quite a few boyfriends. One hundred years ago people did even use phones, let alone internet. If your boyfriend goes to the same school as yours I don't see a problem. At least you still see him every day. It's time to think about getting a job so you can pay some bills and maybe get your own cell phone, even if it's pre-paid. It's parents responsibility to protect you but what she's doing is unwise. She's increasing the chances of you eloping and doing something totally secretly. You don't even have money to buy condoms. If your mom is so strict that you can't even get a job, then you have to wait another 2 years when she can't control your life anymore. Never entertain yourself with the thought of moving into your boyfriend's place. It doesn't feel right to be a runaway. Surrender your freedom and use these two years to learn to be a good person. Write love letters to him the old fashioned way. Focus on what you want to do in the future. Pour your heart out to your mom. Say how much you hate her and ask her for advice on how to deal with the pain.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 I can understand your mother's concern, you are 16 . When you are old enough to leave home and support yourself then you can decide how to behave, in the meantime you are living under her roof, being financially supported by her and legally a child. In other words she is responsible for you. Its her call, and I say congrats to your mother for having the balls to live according to her beliefs and convictions.
Trust, be it between mother and daughter, husband and wife, teacher and student, customer and company is very easy broken, but much harder to mend.
Try building the trust back, and when you are old enough and clever enough and adult enough to leave home and support yourself you will be able to have sex where ever and when ever you want. Until there, its Mumma's House, Mumma's Rules.
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