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Moderate Love

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Article - (30 August 2010) 4 Comments - (Newest, 16 September 2010)
A male Nigeria age 30-35, Ibrahim Thomas writes:

It is inevitable to state that a vast majority of teenagers like me and other youthful individuals have this rather weird desire to indulge in relationships. But there lies an extremely crucial factor we tend to ignore,which remains a shame. We all would want to be happy and not exchange it for anything. A relationship is a teaching ground for everyone,but we need not let it take advantage of our lives,our futures! Some are so buried in love that they turn it to an addiction. I think it will only be beneficial to us if we keep it low,lest our hearts get broken by someone who are never aware of just how much we value them.

View related questions: want to be happy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

I agree you cant have a middle ground. Its like saying you only half love someone, or you are only half dedicated. Its definitly an all or nothing situation. Even if mistakes happen, thats life. We learn from making mistakes, its human nature.

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A male reader, slightlyconfusedhusband United States +, writes (8 September 2010):

Wanting to be in a relationship is not a weird desire. There is no such thing as "moderate love". Lizzie is correct. Either you love somebody or you don't. There is no middle ground. Lust is not love, you may have one without the other. Hearts get broken, you either learn from your mistakes and try again and heal, or you die bitter and alone. Everyone has regrets, and not a single person I have met in my 28 years of living has ever been happy without love. I personally have been married for 8 years, have 3 wonderful children and a devoted wife. I would not trade this for all of the could haves and would haves in the world. I have had many failed relationships, so has my wife. The key is to keep trying and hope that eventually you find the right person.

By all means, follow your advice. Close yourself off to every chance you have at love. Only give a small part of yourself to your lover, and she will realize this and either fight for all of you until you break HER heart or you will never realize what a high it is to have somebody completely devoted to you. I have a wife that would do anything for me, and vice-versa. 8 years and 3 kids later our love is not moderate by any means, nor has it ever been. Somehow it still manages to get stronger as the years pass and I would not trade it for any other future.

Good luck in life and in love. I wish you the best.

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A male reader, Ibrahim Thomas Nigeria +, writes (2 September 2010):

Ibrahim Thomas is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm very much of the opinion that there should be "moderate love." Why? It's simply because we decide on our emotions;how we feel is just what we want to feel,lizzielynne11. I understand your case of love being an "all or nothing" emotion,but there definitely is a limit to everything. Have you ever fallen so deeply in love? If that's the case,do you still feel the same way at the moment?

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A female reader, lizzielynne11 United States +, writes (2 September 2010):

First of all, I am a teenager, and having fallen in love myself, I can honestly say that there is no such thing as "moderate love". Love is many things, but moderate is not one of them. Love is definitely an all or nothing type of emotion. You can't learn from experiences that you haven't had, and the only way to get experience is to jump in and hope that you have a relatively soft landing. Pain is unavoidable, but only serves to make the happy moments more joyful.

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