A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just want to thank everyone for answering ahead of time. My problem is with this guy I've been talking to. We've only gotten together twice, but he's nothing like anyone I've met before. I'm bi, and I just starting reaching out to guys because I don't have to do all the pursuing for a change. Anyway, in the beginning he pursued me (we talked frequently on the phone, chatted online and cammed, and he eventually got the courage to ask me if he can come over. He lives 2 hrs away and he asked me in the middle of the night to come over. So he drove to me and I thought it was a really nice gesture. We had a great time. When we first met one of the first things he told me was that he was a virgin. Even though he was hinting to go further that night, I didn't want to ruin it for him. I wanted for him to have an experience he would consider to be special so I said "no" for him. Since then, right when he came back he said that he's too busy for a relationship because he has graduate school to start soon, and he's busy with his apt. It's fine that he doesn't want a relationship, all I want is a chance to get to know him better. I won't meet a person (guy/girl) as great as him in a while. He hasn't come out to his roommate/best friend but has to his parents, and doesn't want to have too much going on at one time. He stopped calling me and doesn't answer his phone often. He makes excuses like he's too busy or his roommate gets too jealous cause he's talking on the phone. Then he says that he does want to see me, but is busy, then we planned something then it never happened. Over this time, I've somewhat fallen in love with him. I tell him I care about him a lot. He's someone with low self esteem and doesn't see the great work and difference he makes in people's lives. He's also a complete dork who happens to be very attractive (going to be in MAXIM magazine in Dec.) Whether or not he ends up with me I wish him all the best cause that's what he deserves. Anyway, I need to know if I should pursue like I want to (I'm a fighter) or move on to someone else because it's long distance and I'm wasting my time because he'll always be indecisive. Thank you.
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jealous, long distance, move on, roommate, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (20 September 2009):
Why don't you tell him your feelings? That a realtionship doesn't have to work it can be a joy and that you know he's busy and not sure but there isn't any reason why you can proceed other than 'FEAR'. If he says he can't say fine I think you are great and really do wish you the best either way and move on. Somtimes people are too scared to move further and sometimes they just need a push. Best of Luck-
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (20 September 2009):
 He wanted sex that night. He drove all that way to get some, and when it didn't happen he pulled away. All that stuff about being busy and having a jealous roommate (a jealous roommate? REALLY?) is just smoke for the fact that he doesn't want to be with you and is stringing you along.
I strongly suggest that you move on and don't waste your time on someone who isn't that interested in you.
Good luck.
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