A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I think I have to share this story because it just drives me crazy. Since the day I fell in love. At that time I was about 11 I think. I met a girl back then, wich I am still in love with. I am now 18. In the meantime she had several boyfriends, and everytime I pretended not being jeaulous.I did that because over the years I became less shy, and I grew closer the her. We became really good friends. I think that happened because I just wanted her attention, but appearently that attention was more the ''friend'' way than the ''flirty'' way.Now, I am just really in love, for almost 7 years, and she thinks that I just see her as a friend. Everyday it makes me sick, everyday I want to tell her, but i'm afraid it will ruin my friendship with her, and that eventually I will have no attention from her at all.I have had several times that I just got some flirt signals from her, and a lot of mixed signals. I don't know how to take them. So the situation right now is that she has a boyfriend, I really love her, but in fact, she is a really good friend of mine.What to do??? I really don't want to ruin my friendship with her? But I have had some mixed signals from her.€??????????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): So I've told her how I feel about her...
She reacted suprised, and didn't knew she could cause these kind of feeling to someone. She also says that she didn't knew I was picking her signals up as flirt signals, and that she's sorry for that.
Now I'm feeling worse than I felt before, I don't know what to do now. Before I had told her, I thought telling her, would make me feel better, but now that it didn't, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to call her, because after we hang up, I feel even worse then before I called her.
But it's so hard to force myself, not to call her. To force myself from not hearing her voice... the only thing I want to hear right now.
I really don't know what to do, and it's driving me crazy...It's making me sick.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Yes, it's what I've been hearing from a lot of people, and I tried to accept, and forget that it would never be something. Actually I am already trying for almost 6 years, but I just can't forget her.
There was one point where it was going better, but then she started flirting again, like holding my hand (between finger, if you know what I mean) for a long time.
At those moments it's just hard to imagine that she really feels nothing.
It made me feel so happy, I just want that feeling back...
(btw, i'm the one who asked the question)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Man, i feel for you, i really do.I was in the EXACT same situation for years and years, from the same age, for about eight or nine years.This isn't going to end happily for you, i'm really sorry to say.She definitely just sees you as a close friend. Men see mixed signals the whole time, partly because on a subconscious level, they want to be desired by the person they want - but also because girls flirt. the. whole. time. even with men they are not attracted to, and especially friends, because girls see them as completely non-threatening. It's just a way for them to hone their skills at flirting, and have influence over men. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, so long as you are aware of it, and learn the difference between real flirting, and practice flirting.At the moment, she has a boyfriend. She is not going to be into you at this time. Now is definitely a bad time to tell her.In the end, i did tell the girl i fancied that i found her attractive, and she said she saw me as one of her closest friends and didn't want to change that. And she was right to. What i've come to realise now, is that we simply weren't right for each other in that way. If we had been, then something would've happened.The fact that she's had several boyfriends over the years really suggests that she doesn't see you that way.I'm sorry, i really am. It's probably not what you want to hear, but you should move on.
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