A
male
age
36-40,
*ubbadad07
writes:I'm not sure what to do. Me and my wife of two years have a son who is one year old. We had a few arguments and split up with an intent to get back together if i could change a few things, and are living in different homes. The problem is that not even two weeks after we *split* up, she slept with a friend of hers that she had known for a long time, and then felt remorse for it (kind of) and told me it was a mistake and wasn't suppose to happen. well i don't see how it was a mistake. Then she slept wit another guy she met on the computer. And she again told me the same thing. then had a (friend) who has a girlfriend go over and help her wrap presents, and the series of hickeys started. I feel so in love with her, but I don't know what i should do. I want to get back together and she's not sure, but I'm just afraid of other mistakes happening again. any advice as to whether i should pursue fixing our marriage or if I should trust her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): Trust has to be earned! Once someone breaks your trust, they have to earn it back. And as often as she has been making "mistakes" it doesn't seem like she's even making an effort to gain you trust!
I really hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but I don't think your wife wants to be married. Apparently you got married very young, and I think she is having buyers remorse! She is realizing the responsibility of marriage and now is having second thoughts. It sounds like she is making up for lost time.
By the time she gets finished with all these "mistakes" you may not want her back...you will always be the father to your baby, though, remember that!
I feel sorry for what you're going through and hope you can get on with your life.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Part of a marriage is having arguments, disagreements however, infidelity isn't one of them. Working on a marriage is always a given but it takes two people to make it happen.
I understand you're hurt but your child needs the attention. It'll take time for your pain to ease on down. It hurts, I know.
It seems as if your wife isn't ready for marriage however, that's a little too late for that. Talk to your wife about how you feel. Maybe you guys need some time away from each other to figure out what you both really want. Don't forget, you both have a common bond....your child.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, succinadeum  +, writes (5 January 2009):
With all due respect you married a real bitch. If what you say is true then I think it´s cruel what she has done to you and your son. She clearly doesn´t repect you. If I was in your position I would first think about all the girls I knew and if there was one out there that would be the perfect wife, get remarried and move far away with my son and new wife. On the other hand, there is alot to lose. Your wife is being very unfair. If you truly want to resolve things with your wife, you need a referee, someone who both you and to your wife will listen to (ex. the town priest, psychologist, her parents, etc.). Then you estabilish the rules for a happy relationship.
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