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Misreading women

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Question - (16 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a situation where a young lady has started to flirt with me (in an office environment at her workplace). She is very nice and it is light flirting. I have been going there for about 4 weeks and initially I did not pay much attention to her. The past 2 weeks she seems to have taken some notice of me and started flirting, lightly and politely. A few times her eyes just locked in to mine and it was clear to me there is an interest. I often catch her looking at me. A few comments she made seemed to be hints for me to pursue her a little more. A lot of men come in an out of this office and are there when I am and she does not flirt with them. It seems like the office staff is aware of her interest as well. I have hesitated, and sometines slow to pick up on her remarks. I am involved with someone but it is not a good situation, but I am loyal and hesitant. One day last week, after she was very friendly the day before, she sort of ignored me. Bad day I guess. The next day she was fine. Yesterday, she was a bit more extreme in being evasive after I tried to continue a conversation. It seemed as if she was intentionally cutting me off by walking away. When I leave the office, she is usually quite friendly. This time she avoided me by moving away from where I was and it seemed like she was waiting for me to leave. I am historically a little shy and not good with reading women in general. I am wondering if I am misreading this? Has she lost interest as I am taking too long, or is it hard-to-get? Any thoughts on why women do this and if I still have a shot at going for it? Thanks!

View related questions: flirt, shy, workplace

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A male reader, Candleman United States +, writes (16 October 2009):

Candleman agony aunt

The things you were describing are definite good indicators of an interest.

Something happened to make it stop.

Stop worrying about what it is and be more aggressive. If she was showing you the positive signs then you have a good chance that those feelings are still there.

Shy guys (I used to be one) waste too much time wondering and not enough time acting on their desires and instincts. Its a fear that can only be overcome by taking initiative.

Rejection happens, so what, that is part of the process. It is better to act and get rejected then to not act and wonder what would have happened. You end up missing opportunities. If you keep taking initiative, then you have more chances for a positive outcome.

Since you do have a gf be sure that you want to leave her before taking initiative w/ this other woman. It might be best to take the initiative to fix your current relatonship.

Good Luck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 October 2009):

Honeypie agony auntWell I personally finish one relationship before starting to even consider a new one....

I can't say if she is interested or not. Maybe she heard you are already involved with someone else and she is backing off..

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