A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, where should I begin... HELP!!!!! I have no life! I'm miserable. I mean, I'm a frikkin 20 yr old w/ no damn life! I have no social life whatsoever. the only socializing that I do is on my Playstation 3, I mean come on! I've never ever had a girlfriend, even though I've had several girls ask me out in middle school, but nothing happened b/c I was just too damn shy. still am, but not as much. I mean, I don't really consider myself that unattractive either, it's just that I am very very insecure, paranoid, and self-conscious. that's the problem here. life just sucks. everyday the same ol thing. I mean, I sorta get jealous when I read how much of a life people have on this site you know, talking about relationships and stuff and me? zero! absolutely nothing! I need a girlfriend! I need a social life! any advice people? please? I'm friggin miserable here. what should I do? I'm depressed. what a pity :(
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depressed, insecure, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Thanks a lot aunts & uncles. I really appreciate your insight, & that's an understatement. you all have hit the nail right on the head w/ your advice. btw, I've had people tell me that girls most likely are intimidated by me b/c of my demeanor & when I do look @ a girl & they look @ me back, we both quickly look away, as if intimidated by each other perhaps? hmm...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): I personally would get into weight lifting. Go to a gym. Even if you're not athletic you'll still notice results and feel less insecure. You might even meet someone, who knows?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): If I knew you at all, I would totally take you as my boyfriend, lol. I'm 19, single, but I do have a bit of a life; although it consists of going to movies by myself, school, and work. Oh and I also type on the computer all the time (I'm a writer, it's what I do). As for shyness, I'm right on the spectrum with you, so I can't exactly help with that.In any case, you should join a club or something else that might interest you. If you go to college, even better! Just chat up a fellow dude in one of your classes about cars or video games. Video games are taking over the entertainment industry, so it should be a decent conversation starter. Keep us posted and good luck! =]
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A
female
reader, xgraxciex +, writes (19 April 2009):
Try to meet people who live near you. Join a club. Pursue an interest of yours (other than video games). Spending time outdoors also helps a lot when you are sad. I am very insecure too, but you just have to try and think good things. Learn to love yourself and others will follow. Just get out there and start meeting people, nothing could be much worse than where you are right now, I know it's a depressing thought, but you've hit bottom. The only way to go is up! Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): hey okkkkso basically girls like guys with confidenceso you should really be more confidentwhen you say your good looking- does it seem like girls are attracted to you when they see you?again though, it doesn't matter if your good looking if you aren't confident. even if you haven't had a girlfriend, your still young and its time for you to go out and pretend like your experienced and just be sure of yourself.so like, go out!to a party or a club and meet people!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Um dating sites? Clubs? Poetry readings?IDK clubs. Places where people hang out.Do u have family that has friends that are girls that could possibly become gf's?Ur 20 take ur time. Most guys ur age are just enjoying the bachelour life and not wanting to settle down.Trust me theres somone out there for everybody.Just don't be afraid to put urself out there. Rejection happens just move onto the next one.Speed dating. Online dating. Something where u can meet ppl wihtout so much work.Bon chance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Your problem here is totally self inflicted. Insecurities can be a huge problem and affect us in the worst way, but in the end of the day, it is still our fault for not talking to that girl because we were too shy. (just an example). You have to get over what you think is wrong with you and jsut act like you're confident. I know it sounds hard, but it's not as much as it sounds. And the more you act like you are, the more it will actually help you to be. The first thing you need to do is stop the frking video games! those drive me crazy!!!! and the second thing is get off this site and stop reading about everyone else's life when you could be out having one of your own.You're 20.. you must be doing something.. a job or school or somehting right? Just stand up straight, get over whatever is holding you back and talk to someone. If you have a friend, call him/her up and go somewhere. Ask the friend if you hang out with his/her friends too and meet a bunch of new people. stop moping please....... You're the only person who can help you. GOODLUCK!
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A
female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (19 April 2009):
 Don't be so hard on yourself first of all. Second, I would suggest just get out and do something...the more you go out into the public, the faster you will make friends. How about a gaming club in the area? Then you could combine BOTH, your love for video games and social as well. There are some girls who play those games better than guys! Take a look around you and you might just find some really great social events in the area and the chance to join organizations.Also, don't get jealous when you read this site, we all come here for advice because of things that have gone wrong!!! Not really much to be jealous about there.
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