A
female
age
36-40,
*aniece04
writes:OKAY! Me and my husband got into an arguement yesterday because I asked him about his bank account. Make a long story short he tells me that he is miserable, he has come to the point where he is content with him being miserable. He cheated on me before we got married and I only came back to him because b/4 we got back together he seemed like he had changed. SO I am not saying that I was totally happy but I'm not miserable (which he expects me to because he is miserable) and I dont want us to get a divorce. HE says he doesnt want a divorce and hes not going to cheat on me but that he's just unhappy. Also with having three kids I have become lazy and that plays a big part because he says that I'm not taking care of my family. HE is like the 1950's man, where the man just goes to work while the woman takes care of the kids, etc and I'm not supposed to ask him for help and if I do he makes me feel like s*** for it. He grew up like that where his father did that to his step mother (ex. Can I have some coffee and she would get it and soo on). HE wants me to be like that I did not grow up like that. I grew up with out a father and was use to everyone helping out. I dont want us to split or I dont want us to leave. AM I wrong to think that sometimes he should help sometimes even though he goes to work and I stay at home? Please I really need some advice and if I should just shut up and be like his mom and deal with it, how do I go about doing so where I am not ME anymore (usually bit ching and complaining as he says I do everyday which I think he streches the truth too much)
View related questions:
cheated on me, divorce, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, laniece04 +, writes (16 March 2010):
laniece04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalmasdp, I use to work and he still did not help out and still thought even though I did work that still all those things were my responsibility and not his.
Auntie E., YES they are all his kids. I make him dinner everynight and breakfast sometimes to take to work. OKAY so I do all the things I am supposed to do, I GURANTEE that since he works soo much he will be soo tired that he will not have time to spend with me. I dont think that I bitch and complain everyday, he says I do. IS complaining asking about a purchase he made or me looking at his bank account? OKay I will stop being who I am and just suck it up and do my job.
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Dear laniece04 - Ok so your husband goes out to work and makes enough to support you and three kids. Is that right? Are all these kids his? Here's the deal - the house and kids are YOUR JOB. He already has one. Men are really very simple creatures. They want acceptance, affection, love, sex and regular meals. Not kidding. Get your house cleaned up, the kids in order and a decent meal made by the time he comes home from work. You will be amazed how you alone can turn things around in your own house just by doing this. You say you are bitching and complaining every day. Why? If you were him would you want to come home to you? Probably not! Here is what you said in your own words "I have become lazy and that plays a big part because he says that I'm not taking care of my family." He's right! Take pride in yourself and your "job." Get busy woman!
...............................
|
