A
male
age
30-35,
*eeking Honesty
writes:1 – How on earth am I supposed to introduce myself to a girl without it being a completely humiliating and regrettable experience, especially in a bar? What’s an opening that is likely to hold your attention – interesting without being corny?2 – Is there any chance whatsoever that a girl could be seriously interested in, or attracted to, a guy who is openly awkward around women? Or is feigned confidence the way to go?3 – How important is a guy’s job or work ambitions to you?4 – How big was the biggest, um, erm, ‘guy’ you or your friends have actually seen or dealt with in person? (Long story why I’m asking...)5 – What do you like doing with your mutual, non-romantic male friends?6 – To what extent is mystery important in a guy? Are guys who reveal almost nothing about themselves likely to hold your interest for long?7 – Do girls essentially prefer being the more mature and controlling person in the relationship, or do they prefer a guy who ‘knows what he wants’ and all that?Thanks.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 October 2011):
 1. In a bar, you walk up to her and ask if you can buy her a drink. She says "yes", that's an invitation to launch into a convo with her. State your name, who you're here with, and let it go from there. HOWEVER if she says "no", then she's not interested, wish her a nice evening and retreat.
NO pick up lines. They're horribly stupid.
For the record, I do give a man who has enough balls to approach me the time of day..even if it is for a few minutes.
2. Girls pick up on awkwardness...and when you're faking confidence. Just be you, even if it is a little awkward/nervous. Try your best to relax!
3. American economy is rough right now, so if the guy has a job, that's always a plus. A job is a job. With that being said, I also like a guy who aims high. Say he could be working a retail job, because that's the only gig available, but is also currently working on his bachelor's for nuclear engineering. As long as he's still setting goals and working to achieve them, the fact that he has a retail job doesn't matter.
4. 8 and half
5. Same activities I would do with my female friends. Well, minus retail therapy.
6. I don't pay attention to mystery. I'm more concerned about getting to know the guy for who is he, and what he's really about. There's no need to hold back...but then again don't tell me about your sexual history. Some things you're better off keeping to yourself.
7. Do you mean a guy who is dominant? I like to dominance to an extent..not to the point of where he's a possessive, controlling, alpha male.
Of course women want a guy who has his stuff together and knows what he wants in life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): 1. Just "hi what's your name?, Im (whatever your name is)"
Approach with confidence and look her in the eye. Also if its in a bar don't be drunk, and be aware that you don't come off as a creep looking for a one nighter, avoid saying things like, sexy, hot stuff, and cheesy lines like do you come here often and heaven must be missing an angel,when we hear that we are not impressed we just think... ok time to move away from the creep. Keep it simple ie be yourself.
2. If you can pretend to have confidence in approaching a girl thats great, but if you can't that fine, most of us would notice that you are awkward and think its really sweet and appreciate the effort you are going to, if they don't or they just be rude well they're just not nice girls, same as there is nasty guys.
3. His job is not so important, as long as it wasn't anything illegal, but I do like a guy with ambition,he could work in a minimum wage job and I would not have a problem with it, I would like him though to have ambition in his job and want to succeed in whatever he was doing and most importantly enjoy what he does. What he does would not matter, its the type of person he is that does matter.
4. I actually don't know, I never asked and I never whipped out my measuring tape, so I really couldn't say. What was important was that he was not selfish in the bedroom. My friends and I never discussed size either, that never came up in conversation, but the latter has been an issue.
5. Just hanging out with them, talking about different things.
6. A little bit of mystery is good at the start,im all for that, but if the guy is constantly holding back, not communicating what he wants or how he feels, then we do get bored and take it that the guy is just, not that into us, so we move on eventually, even if we really like him.
7. I prefer a guy who knows what he wants and most importantly goes after what he wants, because actions do speak louder than words. I don't prefer being controlling, don't think there should be such roles as the controller and the controlled, both people should be able to give their opinions in a relationship openly. Like the guy picks the restaurant this weekend and the girl next weekend. I like my guys to be mature in their attitude, as I myself am mature, so it would have to be like that for it to work I think.
Hope that gave you some insight.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 October 2011):
 1. A simple friendly introduction will suffice. Catchy opening lines won't hold my interest for long. The sum total of who a person is cannot be summed up in one opening line. The worst place to look for a woman is in a bar/nightclub. You're likely to meet one of three kinds of women; a decent one you can't hear over the music, catty little girls showing off in front of their mates or a drunken trollop you'd rather forget. Nightclubs are dark, loud, and sexually charged and there is too much alcohol and competition. 2. Shy men sometimes have an advantage in that many women feel more comfortable around them. They don't have to constantly fight off unwanted advances and they present a challenge to get to know (hopefully not too much of a challenge or she might give up). A certain amount of 'fake it til you make it' is good, but don't come across as super suave. Women will think you're shallow and insincere.3. I don't care what he does for a living, as long as it's legal and he can support himself comfortably. I have no need or desire to have him support me. I'm just not interested in financing all of our entertainment or having to hang out at each other's houses every night for lack of funds.4. Contrary to the impression left by the very visible and very vocal minority of wild party girls, most women do not compare notes about this.5. The same things I like doing with my mutual, non romantic female friends: going out for lunch or dinner, to the cinema, to the museum, to wine and cheese festivals etc etc.6. Learning everything there is to know about a person (man or woman) within the first month of knowing them is rather boring, wouldn't you say? There is no precise measurement, but a certain degree of mystery is enticing as long as it is balanced with trust building revelations along the way. 7. Some women may prefer to call the shots, but none of them want a mate who is immature and useless, especially if they have an eye toward marriage. Women have enough work to do raising children without having to 'raise' a childish husband as well. Most women want a partner - an equal. Someone wise and confident who compliments our lives without trying to control it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): 1) Look at her and smile. IF she looks back and smiles at you looking at her, it's your cue to come on over. Introduce yourself by giving a compliment (avoid areas like the breasts or ass). Introduce yourself, and find something your both interested in, find things you have in common.2) My fiance was slightly awkward to me, and he's not so self-confident. I'm entirely attracted to him, (I found it cute). So yes, It's entirely possible! The important thing is to have confidence in yourself. If you don't I guess you could fake it, but avoid being overly cocky.3) Depends on the girl. It's important that he's financially independent and not sinking in my opinion. If not, ambitions are a must.4) 7-8in. (If that's what your asking)5) Watching movies, talking about life, commenting on girls who walk by. It again, depends on exactly the guy friend, and what they enjoy doing as well.6) Mystery is good in the beginning if you don't over do it. Don't start by letting them know too many details about you and your life, there's plenty of time to talk about that later. Don't withhold information, just don't make it all about you.7) I think girls like being with someone who knows what they want. Someone who's not controlling, but rather someone who has their stuff together and can be a girls 'rock' when they need him. All this seems really complex, but women are complicated creatures. What can I say. It's all worth it though, depending on what your looking for.Best of luck!~
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (1 October 2011):
 http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-Girls-as-a-Teen-Boy
http://www.ehow.com/how_2094811_talk-girls-street.html
read those links and also buy these books
http://www.amazon.com/Advance-Your-Swagger-Manners-Confidence/dp/1400064538/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1317489626&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Approach-Women-Sex-Without-Being-Asshole/dp/098180392X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1317489663&sr=1-1
I AM NOT JOKING. GET THESE BOOKS. STUDY AND PRACTICE HARD.
ALSO,WATCH 'HITCH' A MOVIE WITH WILL SMITH IN IT..
THE PROBLEM ISNT JUST THESE QUESTIONS U ASKED...U GOTTA WORK ON UR CONFIDENCE. HAVE FUN READIN WATCHIN AND PRACTICING! ONCE UR DONE, MESSAGE ME AND WE'LL TALK MORE THOROUGHLY.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): It is impossible to answer questions like "what do girls prefer" because every girl is different. What one girl loves, another one hates. But related to your first question, a bar is not the place to meet girls. It depends on what you want (a relationship or to get laid), but if you are hoping to meet a nice, good girl I suggest you stay away from bars.
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