A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So in July of 2013 I started working at this new place. And well I became friends with one of my co-workers. He had a family (girlfriend, and 2 kids with a 3rd on the way) well I fell for him. And he knew I liked him. I ended up losing my virginity to him in March of 2014. Then in April I moved out of state. And we talked still for about 6 months after I left and then we stopped talking after his 3rd baby was born. And in August of this year I moved back to where he is at,because I got offered my job back. 'So I took my job again. Him and I talked and joked like nothing changed (which seemed to make our boss jealous and mad that we talked again). Then I was talking with my boss(who happens to be my cousin) one day when her and her cousin were talking. And all of their conversations turn sexual for some reason. Well her cousin wanted me to get in on the conversation, and my cousin was like she's innocent she doesn't know anything. I said what? And she was like well I just mean because you're a virgin..I said Oh no I'm not. And their conversation continued. Then the next day my cousin was asking me questions about me losing my virginity. And well I was answering them. She then asked if it was someone where I'm from or the state I'm living in now. And I said someone here, and immediately she asked if it was my co-worker/friend and I said no but that I wasn't gonna tell who it was. She kept with the whole assuming it was him (which obviously it was).and then about 2 weeks after she assumed it was him, I saw him at work and he yelled at me and told me to keep his name out of my mouth. And that his chick heard that I'm saying stuff about him. Then I got threatened on Facebook by his best friend. I'm just wondering if maybe since it's been 2 months since that happened, if maybe him and I might be able to be friends again? Or if it's hopeless?I assume it was my cousin who said something to him...and he's just covering it up because it was real funny timing of everything. And am I crazy to assume it was my cousin who said something when she seemed jealous that him and I were friends? She is the ONLY one who would benefit from him and I not speaking.
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at work, best friend, co-worker, cousin, facebook, jealous, moved out, my boss Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I'm just now replying back, thanks for your advice.A few weeks ago I got confirmation from my cousin that she is the one who told and she said she did it because she "wanted him to know what was being said about him", and when I said how I never said it was him, she turned it around and said I told her husband that it was him (which I never told her husband anything). Long story short, she called me a liar and said because the guy denies that anything happened that I'm just a liar. And then she started saying stupid things like how I shouldn't have told "our secret" and if I wanted to be friends with him that I should have never told her (which as I've said I never said his name). But I moved away from them and am no longer working there, I have no contact with the guy and little contact with my cousin.Thanks again though
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): You don't want to be friends with a man who can happily cheat on the mother of his children, who I am also assuming was pregnant with his child while he was sleeping with you.
That's not a decent human being. Realise you are also worth a lot more than being someone's bit on the side.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 December 2015):
 Yes, I think it's possible that your boss and cousin told something to your " friend " but I don't think it was out of jealousy. At least, had I been in her shoes, I probably would have confronted the guy myself, both pissed off as a boss that people uses the workplace as a sort of hooking up site, and as an older cousin feeling protective of a younger, very naive cousin who is putty in the hands of a player.
Anyway, whether your cousin intevened or not, apparently your " friend " got scared and wants to avoid his girlfriend ( and mother of his 3 kids ) busting his a.. over a workplace romance, so no, I don't think he will want to be your friend again.
Which to you is a big blessing. You aren't losing a friend, because he was not your friend, he was someone who wanted to get into your pants and did. Mission accomplished, after which I don't think he'll ever want to keep ypu company in the dentist's waiting room, or know everything about your favourite music and books, etc... the things that a friend does.
My advice is to stop sniffing around a man with a common law wife and 3 kids , and turn to single guys, both for romance and friendship. You will spare yourself a lot of trouble.
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (14 December 2015):
Why do you even want to be friends with this fellow? Certainly not a keeper. He cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with you. You lost your virginity to him. He stayed with her. Until now it seems like this could have been an honest mistake/ error of judgment on his side. But then when some word of this gets out, he yells disrespectfully at you, at the workplace?! And his best friend threatens you online?!Whatever happened between you is not something that occurs between friends.He is not good boyfriend material. He is not even good friend material. Stay away from him and be glad that he is out of your life. That does not give him or any of his friends the right to misbehave with you, though. Next time anything like that happens, just tell him straight on his face - that you don't want to have anything to do with him anyway, and to behave himself. And he has no right to yell at you at work. Or anywhere else.It doesn't really matter whether your cousin told or not. Stay away from this guy. And if your cousin is jealous of your friendship with this person - then she needn't be
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