A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. Im a 39 year old woman and had a wonder 2 month relationship with a guy I had met online. Last weekend he went to his hometown to a friend's party, and text me the next day that he was not ready for any relationship and wanted us to part. He said being with his friends at that time made him realise he was much happy to be single and still would like us to be friends if I wanted that. This was a complete bolt out of the blue, leaving me distraught, he phoned me up to explain why he had decided this and thinks I would be better off finding someone else. I asked him how long had he been thinking about this, he replied about a week or so and he went to his hometown to access our relationship, we even had a physical relationship which was good. I don't know whether he is a predator or not, judging by his actions by wanting to keep in touch as friends which I find baffling. Part of me doesnt want to lose complete contact with him part of me does. I would be grateful if you guys could advise me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): I would think that he got off with some other woman at the party and that is what made him think about ending things with you, don't waste time on him, move on and get yourself a real man who treats you with respect.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): Why on earth would you want to be "friends" with a man who has made it very clear he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you?
Two months is a short time to be together: you were still getting to know each other and discovering whether or not the two of you were really compatible. That's normal. Obviously he has come to the conclusion that you are not really well-matched.
Let it go; preserve your dignity and when you have had time to recover from this, get back out into the dating world and see if you can find (or be found by) a man who really will want you for who you are, and who you'll want, too.
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A
female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (1 May 2007):
Personally I would just stop seeing him cold turkey.The longer you linger , the more you will invested in this relationship ,the harder for you to break free.Right now you are distraught because this happen too fast without warning, you are badly hurt , but picture this , if you continue going out with him and remain friend with him , one day you might be seeing him with other woman or hearing him talking about other woman , can you handle it then ? It would hurt even more in the long run, and prevent yourself from moving on.This is just my opinion, it is hard to do , how about give yourself a week, to think things over, you might discover you don't really love him that much, he does not have the qualities you are looking for in a man after all, you feel this way simply because it happens too fast and you did not see it coming, who knows, maybe after a week, you will gradually forget about him , since you've only known each other for 2 months.--
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): I wouldn't state he was a predator, dear. Just a guy who found himself unable to commit further to you. You both just had some fun and simply invested 2 months into this relationship and he has told you it's over..plain and simple. All in all, breakups are always tough. He's made his choice and now you have to decide if you do want to be just friends. Will feelings for him, interfere with any all subsequent relationships, you find in your future? Personally, I think you should give this some thought and should you decide against a friendship and just making a clean break, then go for it. It's your call. If I were in your shoes, I would just call it a day and lose complete contact. Cut him off and let him know... he lost a great woman! Mind you, if you have to remind him you are great, then you know for sure, he wasn't worth it, was he? When sex comes into the picture, some women allow their heartfelt feelings to take over. So , if you are having a lot of heartache after all this, be strong and remember, that you can go on. If you are feeling really bad, snap your fingers to interrupt the thought, and fixate on something that makes you happy. Do not drive yourself crazy with thoughts about this fellow. Don't let yourself become bitter. My suggestion: When you are ready, start dating other men! Move on and get going, girl..have some fun! If you and this guy aren't committed and he isn't giving you any promises of committment..then take care of yourself and get out and live your life. Good luck hun and take care of you.
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A
female
reader, kkluv7654322 +, writes (1 May 2007):
hi i think you should stay friends because there is no point in falling out over him not wanting to go out with you xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (1 May 2007):
 Staying friends with exes is always difficult. In my experience you both have to really want to for it to work. Take your time deciding. If he really wants to be friends he won't mind giving you time to make the decision.
CD
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