A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a wonderful man for three months. He is 46 and I am 37, we are both divorced, and we each have a 10-year-old daughter. The sex is wonderful and we have a great time when we are together. Because of our work schedules, we only see each other about once a week, which is an overnight date. Everything seems fine.My issues are that even though I feel fantastic when we are together, I seem to worry constantly when we are apart. I'm worried he is still trying to meet other women (although he has hidden his profile on an online dating site through which we met, I can see he is still "lurking" on the site a few times a week because his profile was saved in my mailbox before he hid it). I'm worried that he is not as into me as I am into him. Frankly, I'm afraid I'm falling in love with him, and I'm not sure if he is as serious as I am.I know he wants a long-term relationship, our daughters have met and like each other, and I have met some of his friends (he introduces me to them as "my friend", not "my girlfriend".) I just don't know why I feel so insecure about this.Can someone help, please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update to this question, to clarify, yes, we did have the exclusivity talk before we started having sex, and he assures me he is not seeing or interested in seeing anyone else. I guess my issue is that I just don't TRUST that he's telling me the truth. I'm sure it all has to do with my past experience with men being less than truthful. Thanks all for the help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update to this question, to clarify, yes, we did have the exclusivity talk before we started having sex, and he assures me he is not seeing or interested in seeing anyone else. I guess my issue is that I just don't TRUST that he's telling me the truth. I'm sure it all has to do with my past experience with men being less than truthful. Thanks all for the help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): well first thing is you cant stop falling in love with someone.... and have you tried to talk to him about how you feel?? and be more alert on what he is doing and where he is going im not trying to say be a stalker or anything like that :] but your just trying to find out what is going on... does he ever act weird in some situations? im not saying that he is cheating on you but its not bad to just ask questions and if he dosent like it when you tell im stuff like that then he is a loser!!! :] i had a boyfriend that always got mad when i told him my feelings and what i though of things... and you dont want someone like that trust me in the end its not happy.... so just becareful i hope i helped!!!! good luck
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (19 August 2008):
 I too met my girlfriend online, so I can somewhat understand where you're coming from and the situation.
What I'd suggest is asking him what he feels about how things are going and if he'd like to try and make a go of the relationship. Tell him that you really like him and enjoy his company and would like to escalate things.
3 months, even if you don't see each other all that often, is more than enough time to get a feel for another person as to whether you'd like to pursue a relationship with them or not.
As for his profile, he may be merely checking it because he's unsure exactly of how YOU feel about him.
Hope this helps.
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