A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok guys i need help - although i dunno if there is a solution! ok, i was with my boyf for 3 yrs and we broke up - on friendly terms. just before we ended, i was in brazil and met this amazing guy. we were with eachother for only 3 days but swapped details etc. im going back in feb and will be with him. i miss him so much and although i talk to him almost every day all i can think about is going back. to the place and him. im so lonely here and im finding it so hard to get out of this depression. feb is so long away and i miss everything about the place so much. i dont wanna be living in my country anymore but i dunno wat to do as i havent got the money to go back yet!! any advice or ANYTHING would be helpful!!! thanks xxx
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broke up, depressed, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): I agree with Dioavan; q1605 have given you a brilliant reply; read it over ....it is BRILLIANT; Secret....dont rush....read slow.....take note of what you are reading....Everything in life does not come with speed....You need to relax; read it again and again!
Well answered Q1605; I could not even try to match, add or improve!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): I know he may be difficult to understand, but the beauty of what q1605 says and the way he says it, is it reminds you to take time, think very long and hard and encourages you to be patient when trying to find solutions to the problems you have. Read what he's written again, he has given you some good advice. Slow down, life is not a rush and you have a long way to go before you finally meet the right guy to settle down with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Somebody's trying to hurt my q1605, now that's downright wrong especially when he takes a lot of time and gives a lot of thought in trying to help people out..
Your lonely and depressed because you miss your long distance guy. This is something you need to get used to. This is the consequence for loving somebody in another country. February will come soon enough. If you speak on the telephone and keep in contact, you should be out having an exciting life without him, so you have things to talk about whenever you call. No man looks forward to a being with somebody whose only topic of conversation is how much they miss their guy and how lonely they are. You miss him and you want to be with him. That is good, you will see him very shortly. In the meantime get on with your life and find some enjoyment, loving a man is good, but loving yourself is even better.
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 One other point, holiday romances have a habit of petering out in the light of solid reality. I hope it's not the case here, but the romance of meeting in a strange and exotic place, the eagerness for new experiences, the loss of inhibitions... these can all lead to exciting experiences that don't stand up when you come back to the reality of everyday life.
I'm not saying that this is the case here, but it happens. I don't want to put a damper on this, though. I really hope that everything works out for you.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (4 July 2008):
I think you were being tough on q1605. A lot of what he says makes sense, although expressed somewhat elliptically.
I don't agree that there are any issues about your previous boyfriend, infidelity, or anything else. That's just the luck of the draw. A boyfriend is a boyfriend, not a husband. If you find someone new that you like better, you are perfectly within your rights to move on.
The main thing that worries me is that you don't know this guy very well. As q1605 points out, there is a huge cultural difference, you only met for three days, you don't know anything about him... The risk factor is huge. What if he is just a smoothie leading you on? That is what q1605 is warning you about. It happens, and it's heart-breaking when it does.
On the other hand, when people fall in love, a lot of these superficial barriers don't mean a lot. If you both really feel that you've found the one, then it's not something that others can make a judgement on.
I hope that our fears are ungrounded and pray that it works out for you. And the sooner you manage to see him, the better! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (3 July 2008):
Well, q1605 has certainly been put in his place!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionq1605 - im sorry but with all your waffling and trying to be poetic i think you forgot to answer my question. and by the way we can talk on the phone - nearly every day, so pen pals is a little behind. and please next time you answer someone's question try not to decorate your answer with frivolous phrases, stupid comparisons and confusing opinions.
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A
male
reader, no_issues  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 From watching porn, we learn that encounters with foreign men are generally of a very short duration, and sequels only happen if the first run was exceptionally well-received.
I mean -exceptionally.-
Like, you might need to get your ex-boyfriend and the new guy involved at the same time, along with an assortment of "lesbians."
If there's demand for a sequel, you'll know because you'll be inundated with requests for "3 Nights in Rio II" or "The Next 3 Nights in Rio" or whatever your porn title would be.
If you aren't getting these requests, then I'm sorry, porn teaches us that you need to hang out at swimming pools wearing almost nothing and setting up encounters with one of the lifeguards. (Or all of them at once, depending on taste.)
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female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Hey girl
It will be okay, just stay positive. Right now thats all ya can do. If you cant go to Brazil then ask him to come in! Long distance relationships are quite hard but they work out if you have the time and patience. I know its hard because you really miss him=/ Basically what I would do is spend some time with your friends and family because you stated something about moving, so until february spend some time with your friends. Im not saying take a break from him, by no means! deff keep talking but dont dwell on the fact that you cant be with him right now. Dont let this keep you from being happy. Dont worry about it because you will see him again...like the saying goes "time flys when your having fun" Go out and enjoy yourself and by the time you know it, it will be february
take care && best of luck!
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