A
female
age
30-35,
*ancerGirl09
writes:Hello EveryoneThis Week I met a guy. The way I met him and started talking seems like it belongs in a movie. Basically I was waiting in the train station waiting for my train number to be announced. When they finally called it I headed down the steps on onto the platform. During that time I noticed a really good looking guy. Tall, buff, handsome etc. Anyways I decided to enter the train car he was entering in. I ended up sitting diagonal from him. He repeatedly kept looking my way and I just continued to browse on my phone nervously because I knew I caught his eye as well. Long story short something happened further down on the train tracks so we had to be routed a different way, hop on another train and get back on the right track. This kind of got me happy because I knew I was going to get to see him much longer. I exchanged a few words with an older women next to me about how ridiculous this was and then the hottie sort of budded in the convo, made sexy eye contact with me and just agreed with whatever was going on!!We finally reached the other routed designation that we had to take due to complications. Everyone began to stand up and wait in the aisle as we began to approach. I ended up standing 1 person behind him but their were way to many people exiting out the door so I turned and faced the other way instead. He saw that I did this so as we got off the train he headed out my direction to!!! I entered the other train but hesitated and was willing to stand because it looked crowded. He then came up from behind me and said "crowded huh, I think I see a few seats down there, come" I proceeded as my heart began to melt even more. We ended sitting in 2 different seats next to each other only separated by the aisle. We began to chat so much. It was amazing. Laughing talking etc. I asked him where he was going he said "finally going home, was in the city visiting my girlfriend" I died. A girlfriend? Just my luck. We continued to talk, connecting on so many levels ....then he passed over his phone and said " just type in your number and name girl" I was flattered but still thinking about his girl situation. He said they have been dating for a few but the long distance is kind of sucky. Finally we reached our next destination, which was my stop. It went by so fast because we were talking the whole time beautifully. His stop was after mine but he had to wait a while longer. We ended up talking a little more, rather close facing each other, helping me through the confusion of the train, placing his hand on my back (I got you sort of gesture)... I didn't want to leave. Unfortunately I had to and he hugged me and said it was really nice meeting you and talking to you. 10 minutes after I left I get a text from him saying " you are so cute and precious. You made the whole train ride bearable. Thank you for making my day. I wish you were getting off at my stop :( but you should text me later if you want." I ended up texting him later that night having a brief convo and him saying " glad I met you it today"My thing is, Ive never dealt with someone who has a girlfriend and seems interested in me. I'm kind of intrigued however because he is gorgeous and we automatically hit it off. When do you think is a good time to text him again? I know I should wait for him, I don't want to seem desperate but this was so surreal. What should I do?Thank you!
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has a girlfriend, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): As a guy who is in the exact same situation as the guy you met OP, this is just as complicated for him as it is you. He may love his gf, but not all relationships are good. Meeting you may have been a wakeup call for him, making him realize once again that a relationship should make you happy. Going so long in an unhappy relationship (3.5 years for me) makes it very hard to stop a good conversation that finally makes you feel good inside, particularly with someone you are attracted to. I personally would not want to have to juggle two girls and risk hurting either of them. So my advice to you would be to understand his situation and let him figure it out on his own. If you ask questions or text him its just going to make him more conflicted and even guilty. If he doesnt break up with his gf in the next few months then its best you forget about him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2013):
 If he has a GF I would back far far away. He isn't going to dump her for you. Not anytime soon. He might tell you he is just to get you in bed.
And IF he does.. how long do you think it will take for him to hook up with someone else and dump you?
Red flags all over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): This is DEFINITELY not a man to be trusted, sorry. He has a girlfriend but picking up other women on the train? Eeuuuch, tacky. If he'd do that to her, he'll do it to you. Delete that number and leave well alone. Find another hot guy, a single one with a decent character who you can trust. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 February 2013):
The important thing to remember is that this man has a girlfriend, why he’s taking your number and flirting isn’t clear but one thing’s for sure, he’s unavailable and unless he leaves her that’s not going to change. Leave it be. IF he gets in touch again, ask him if his girlfriend would mind and see how he reacts. Even if he’s just looking for friendship (which is doubtful given the flirty content of his chat), I wonder if he’s being honest with the girlfriend about this? CMMP is right that this has the potential to be very complicated. Maybe you made each other’s train ride more enjoyable, but that’s probably as far as it will, or should, go.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 First things first juliet. Ask him about his rltshp? Is it over? My guess is he left her place on a bad note otherwise he would not have expressed interest. Get to know his intentions so you can proceed with ease if he's available and ready to be with you.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (3 February 2013):
 This is where my die hard desire for honesty comes out, but I would honestly tell him that you couldn't text him until he ended his relationship. That you respect him and his girl and that if he breaks up with her and is still interested, to hit you up. Because it sounds like you two hit it off really well, but you don't want to be that girl. As i'm sure you wouldn't be too keen if it were your boyfriend doing that behind your back. Do the right thing. Tell him you can't keep texting him unless he's single. And on top of it, that will also let him know that you're a good, honest girl. That might make him like you even more in the end. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 February 2013):
I don't have any advice regarding when to text him or any of that but I wanted to point out the fact that this is likely to become a complicated situation (booty call, mistress, boyfriend who says he left the other girl... Take your pick) but not a serious relationship.
If that's okay with you than March on, otherwise you may want to leave it as a memory.
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A
male
reader, RUOpenMinded +, writes (3 February 2013):
First of all, he is interested in you: Conversation, hugs, number exchange. However, he is probably only interested in sex. The first thing you knew about him is he has a girlfriend. That is probably BS as he wanted to see how you reacted. If you want to have sex with him, you're good to go. I seriously doubt he is relationship material.
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