A
female
age
41-50,
*upid lover
writes:Hello,I am in a very confused state because of a man I am currently dating. We live in different cities. He is 40 (I am 30) and has recently divorced (seperated for 3 years). The relationship has been great and we are obviously crazy about each other.We ended up having a small argument over the phone (we don't yell)last time I was in his city. It was definately heated and I got frustrated and I ended up hanging up on him which I regretted. We did not speak for the next 5 days while I was there- I did my own thing and then I booked a flight andd left town. I sent him a text letting him know that I was leaving. After I cooled down, I realised how selfish I had been aand that the fight was in fact my fault. It was just terrible timing for him to be house hunting and taking care of his kids and for me to have the most important event in my career to date be in the same week. So I rang him and apologised on Saturday when I was in bed with flu. He seemed fine and we chatted for about 15 minutes. He asked me sweetly to call him the following day because he would just be unpacking boxes at his new house- I did and he didn't answer and he didn't call me back. He left me a text at 11pm saying that he left his phone in the car all day (definate lie). Then on Monday I sent him a text to say that I got his text and that I hope he has a good day at work. No reply. I then called him twice on Tuesday night and left a text apologising again for the fight that we had. He wrote back saying that he was just about to call me and that he will call me back shortly. He never did. 3 days passed wwithout any contact. I wrote him a text yesterday afternoon saying that I missed him and should I fly down to see him? No reply.What is going on? It is just so hard to believe he has gone from being hot to absolutely ice cold. I don't know if his distance has anything to do with me or if he just feels really stressed about his life at the moment s a lot of things have gone on with him lately- financial settlement with ex, dad died, sold house and bought a new one, moved house.I was thinking that I should write him a text saying that I understand he need space and that I am not mad. Any ideas on what you think I should do would be much appreciated. I would love to hear the opinion from men mostly if possible. Thank you
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female
reader, cupid lover +, writes (15 August 2012):
cupid lover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so it has been 5 days since I last contacted him and 8 days since I got his last text.
Do you think that I should text him to tell him that I understand if he needs space and that I am here to listen if he wants to talk OR do I just keep going with no contact?
This behaviour is so unlike him.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 August 2012):
 "Recently divorced" ? Duh! he's been killed emotionally and it'll take time to pull the knife out of his groan..Give space and distant understanding. Time heals*or so I hear).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): Can't say because there is a lot going on his life. The cell phone in car thing isn't necessarily a lie though. When I get a call when I'm driving I tend to toss the phone onto the passenger's side. It's just inconvenient to push it back in my pant's pocket, and then I don't hear it going off later. When I come home, I don't make calls with my cellphone. All calls are made using my home phone since it doesn't use minutes. I've left my phone in my car multiple times because of this. Sometimes I notice, other times I don't realize it till the next day.
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