A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I have just recently got out of a relationship with a guy in the USA. He happens to lie about who he dated. And even now it continues to mess with my head. For instance, I am a part-time model, nothing major, we happened to be browsing through another models portfolio and he looked up and said ''Oh that pic is exactly like a pic of a model I know''... and then he mentions her name and told me how they dated. Well it happened to be a centrefold of a certain American mens magazine. And he claimed they dated around the time she became a centrefold circa 1994. He seemed to be all smiley and psycho looking telling me this, but breezed over it. In fact he said ''embarrassingly enough''. Although I am a fashion model, I did feel a little intimidated by even a Playmate... because sadly that is what men tend to oogle at, but at the time I didn't think my man was into those types. Anyway, I got somewhat worried about this.One day he left his myspace account open... so I snooped. They were in contact, however they had just MET on myspace, contrary to what he said above... the dates of the messages were 2006/7. Her career seems to be somewhat washed up and she asked if she got him a plane ticket would he visit her. He replied back with ''I don't know you could be a serial or cereal killer''. Anyway, it appears they chatted on the phone or whatever, but the messages on myspace I looked at quietened down, by one message she sent, it looked like he had sent a message questioning whether she is playing games with him. She wrote back ''You don't know me'' and went on about how he is not someone she want to pursue things with and that she had just got out of a relationship where the person hurt her bad. She also gave him a PO BOX address, as he said he had a t-shirt to send her. By all this it looked like they never met.I also talked to people at his work and friends and asked if he dated a particular centrefold, they laughed and said no. No-one heard of her name. However, they did happen to mention a PORNSTAR he was with!!!!Anyway, a few days after my snooping we got into an argument, and I said ''You are better suited to bimbo models'' and he goes ''Well I could have had the.....insert her ''title''... but I didn't want her!! I kind of laughed to myself, knowing what I had recently read.However, not long after that I browsed his phone, her name came up on it, it is a complicated phone and I didn't understand whether it wad a call / text, whether she initiated it or he did, but it was dated around the time he said ''I could have had the....".After I got back home I have been doing my own investigating, it appears she does phone, email and text her fans or whatever by what they write on her myspace page... and by the way her myspace is really her, not as she is big time or anything. All I guess I want to know is why would he try to intimidate me with this one? And blurt her out out of nowhere? It was obvious he exaggarated what I figured out to be an online fling / flirting into actually dating her before they had even met online. It makes me sad that he did this.Like my very first boyfriend said he dated an African Princess, though back then I was unable to research that one and didn't care.Has anyone else been through similiar situations?And if anyone is wondering what kind of catch he was, he is average looking with long hair, looks like he can be in a band. In bad shape. Vulgar dreamer personality, lives in a one room hovel, did own/manage a rundown music venue where mostly unheard of bands played but it got shut down to rent not being paid. Why our relationship ended was due to lies, false promises, controlled me, put me down etc. WE met online, and he wasn't the person I thought he was.Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): men lie because of the male ego. forget about it. btw if u obsess too much than stop thinking & enjoy life - I don't mean this to be sarcastic just advice. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFade, I am sorry you've been through it too... and also the first person who replied to my post, sorry you have been put through the ''ringer''.
I believe I maybe told this one way too much about what the other ex did to me, just so he then could do the same. However, I am well aware that he is below me.
And I realise I do need to stop obsessing. I actually took a very long time to get over my first boyfriend (the one I told him about) and that one put me through an actual nervous breakdown which resorted into therapy.
I do suffer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so maybe that is why I am also obsessive with wanting to know if they're lying, investigating and once I find out they lied I like to double check and get confirmation and question WHY?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso Fade, in response to your last post I'd like to point out that his ONLINE flirting (which he made out to be something more) occurred BEFORE (06/07) we even met (08), apart from seeing this woman's name on his phone when I was there. It was pointless him bringing her up other than to mess with me. Just am I the only one who experiences men lying about having dated someone? :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFade, I am no longer with him, I moved out there for just under two months (to the USA from England) to be with him, it was him who wanted me desperately with him. It was getting worse and worse out there, so I chose to leave one night and flew home the next day, even if it did mean buying a £700 plane ticket. However, I did end up seeing him again, I spent my birthday in NYC back last month (Oct)and he flew out... it ended up in a disaster. So no more of that. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. Yes, I am insecure, why I don't know. I have a very strong supportive family, and with my profession I do get complimented often. But sometimes it doesn't mean anything, because I wanted those complimentry words about me coming from his mouth... like they did before he knew he ''got'' me. Soon's he knew I was falling, he played the mind games. Though I am surprised a man will exaggarate on what was a flirty / fling with a bimbo whose hey day is far behind her, and made it into something more. Are these men too ignorant to realise that the world is not a small place anymore and with the internet and talking to people you can uncover the truth? Oh and of course, when they're silly and leave their myspace account open...
Thanks, M (original poster)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Men who lie are pieces of shit and always will be. You are lucky to get away from this guy. Take it from me, I have been through the ringer with a liar and he destroyed my life. Run far away and never talk to him again.
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