A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend gets jealous when he sees me training another guy on my job. It's still dark out (5:00a.m.) so I understand men think weird things when it's dark, especially when my BF can't see us during this training, but why should he call this guy on his cellphone and find out what we're doing? Then my boyfriend didn't want to see me later. What's going on with him? I didn't do anything wrong!! Oh, I should also tell you that my boyfriend and I have never had sex, but there is a strong attraction to do so. Although women are welcome to reply also, I really do need some opinions from the male mind to help me understand my guy better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): I agree with peterpan.
To add, under the same clause that I might be wrong, is that the two of you haven't bond enough that the trust is there. Bonded enough that you know where each other stands in the relationship: is this forever, or temporary.
Men in general, I think, understand the threat imposed when personal feelings are brought in by a stranger. There can be a connection, and what use to be me and you, now becomes me and you and the stranger. Relationships that survive, must be based solely on me and you and not a third wheel. When jealousy comes into play, that bond hasn't been sealed. This can be for many reasons. One partner feels neglected and makes the other jealous by actions, such as flirting with the opposite sex.
Anyways, this has been my own personal experience and understanding of the why's.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Well, I am a male and I will give you my opinion. I think he is an insecure man who worries that you might be cheating on him with your trainee and that he really cares about you, but in my opinion, I think that this relationship is not worth it if he keeps up with his insecurities. I think you need to talk your boyfriend about why does he feels this way and if he really loves, then he wouldn't be acting this way. You also have to firmly tell him that he needs to work on his insecurities or you have to break up with him if he gets violent.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I'm going to attempt an answer for you. I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not the "jealous type" (translation: I could be off on this one).
IMO, your BF has serious jealousy issues because of something floating around in his head... like what? Here's a few that popped into my head: maybe he got jilted by some previous GF that was at a similar stage as you guys are now (pre-sex) and it's left him with a mental scar that he hasn't dealt with yet. Another? How about he's so fond of you that he fears loosing you to some other buff guy (I assume by training, you're referring to running or some kind of exercise).
Anyway, jealousy is generally, psychologically brought on by some real or perceived "inadequacy" in his head. Until that issue is addressed (either by him or with the two of you establishing some kind of understanding or trust... possibly even developing some level of comfort with your relationship), it's probably not going to end on its own.
I hope that helps some. Like I said, that's just my lay interpretation of jealousy. I bet if you Google jealousy, you might find more details on it.
Good luck!!
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