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He's asked me to hang on, but I don't know if he'll ever break up with her!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2008)
A male Nigeria age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 27 years old, I met this guy 2 months ago, we talk everyday for hours and really like each other. He says he has a girlfriend in another country whom he can't marry for culture reasons and wants me to hang on. I dont know if he will ever break up with her or how soon he will break up with her. I am so confused. What should I do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

Does he love you? Is he worth waiting for? How long do you have to wait? A year, a month, a lifetime. What will he be doing with his girlfriend whilst your waiting for him. What will you be doing while your waiting. Staying at home, avoiding other men, watching the TV?

Are you sure he loves you? Would he choose to be with his girlfriend if the "cultural" reasons were removed. What kind of love demands that you put your life on hold, whilst he enjoys himself.

Life seems to short to wait for this man who shows you a "funny" type of love.

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A female reader, A Cappella United States +, writes (13 May 2008):

A Cappella agony auntMove on. If he cheats with you he will cheat ON you. If he wants to call you when he's free, you can invite it. But don't ever be the "side dish" in any relationship. Good luck hon.

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A female reader, inlove101 United States +, writes (13 May 2008):

ok if you truely love him and want to be with him jus give him time and wait and if not jus tell him that you dont want to wait and everything happened for a reason....

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A female reader, shandygirl United States +, writes (13 May 2008):

shandygirl agony auntIf I were you, I would give the "hang on" stage a TIME LIMIT. I was in a simular situation once, I gave it 6 months, and I stuck to it. It all worked out before the time limit was up.

My advice to you, is don't hang on for a looooooong time, because you may miss a chance of meeting someone else that may sweep you off of your feet, and who doesn't have any complications attached.

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (13 May 2008):

PeterPan agony auntI'm going to take "like each other" as not meaning "love each other". That said, it seems that you've developed a strong friendship with this guy. My suggestion would be that you should think of this as a deep friendship to spare yourself the anguish of the situation. After all, that's all you have right this second (again, judging from your words and my interpretation of them). I guess I'm saying that until things are made a little more clear, don't allow yourself to move beyond friends until he follows through with the break up as promised.

Good luck!

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