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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I tested positive for HPV over a year ago. It was type that increases the risk for cervical cancer, (not the strain that gives warts)I went ahead and got the vaccine for the other strains and I am now "inactive" and test negative though I know I technically carry trace amounts of the virus. My doctor said it was "unlikely" I could pass it while it was inactive.I told a sexual partner recently (...unfortunatley after the fact) and he freaked. I apologized and felt terrible about it. I had wanted to be honest with him and I probably should have said something before things happened. All I know is that it effectively put an end to things between us.It seems it's so common, 80% of people have had it by the time they are 40. At this point in my life and especially after being vaccinated, I would not discount a man for having HPV or even having had warts. I don't know why it seems like something only women worry about (at least in the US).So my question to men is: If the type of HPV doesn't affect you (the non-wart variety), do you want to know? Do you want full disclosure or blissful ignorance? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 This is something that you have a responsibility to tell your sexual partner about. There's no question about that. However, to the right person this shouldn't be a deal breaker. If you are talking to a casual, one night stand partner then I'd say it's safe they would have an issue with it. That's because they are not emotionally invested.
Somebody who you are dating for a little while and "looking to take the next step" with you is going to be more open. The right man who is emotionally invested will take the time and do the research and realize it's not as bad as he probably first thought. As you said, it is more common than most people realize and shouldn't be a "deal breaker" to the right man.
Either way, like I said before, you have a responsibility to tell any partners you plan on being sexually active with FIRST. Otherwise telling them afterwards will make you look deceitful and will question how trustworthy you are. I suspect your last partner was more freaked out by the fact that you didn't tell him till afterwards.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Full disclosure is the only fair way for this to happen.
HPV is EXTREMELY COMMON and most people who have it don't even know they do.
By the way, my wife was much more sexually active than I was before we met, if anyone should have had HPV then she should.
But, never a wart, never an abnormal pap smear.
I've never had a wart in my life, but I have oral HPV.
Where did it come from? Nobody knows, maybe from her, maybe from my sole prior partner, who knows.
The key with HPV, isn't whether you have it or not, but if you do have it then you need to have HIV testing to make sure that you don't have that as well.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Well, would YOU have wanted to know about whoever gave you this STD? They didn't think you needed to know and now you are asking for permission to pass it on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Nobody should "discount" anyone for having a disease. It happens. What matters is that you handle it responsibly by getting tested, treated and inform partners responsibly. If they freak, they are just ignorant or opinionated...that is, as long as you didn't withold the information.
I do not pry into partners pasts, but I do demand to know how many partners they've had and if any STD's were ever involved, regardless of how severe or whether they are communicable to me or not. I think that is fair game in todays environment. If they dont want to tell, I move on. Just too risky.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Full disclosure of course!!! Honesty is SO required in STI cases. I am sorry for the loss of your bf, but seriously STIs are something to be disclosed IN PRIOR to having sex with someone.
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