A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi dear aunts/uncles!I am on a LDR for a couple of months with someone I used to know when I was younger just as friends, but we parted ways. (we knew each other personally) We will "meet" tomorrow on an airport (we both flew in to a "middle ground" ) He says that he will kiss me as soon as he sees me. I am freaking out! I've had many bfs before and you could say I'm "experienced", and I am 25! I do not know why I am so nervous about him kissing me as soon as he sees me!I'm afraid I will be SO nervous and shy I will push him away or kiss him back clumsily and awkwardly...The fact that he would kiss me makes me feel SO anxious!!!!!!!HELP!? Any comments! How do I say "Hi" to him?????? I'm very nervous! :(
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (19 December 2012):
It's good to hear that things eventually worked out well despite the transportation problems. Of course it's too early to know what path your relationship will take but I hope it's satisfying and fulfilling for both of you.
Reading your account it occurred to me that perhaps he had been teasing you about "the kiss" all along, just to get your reaction. Or perhaps that's not part of his personality. More than 39 years after it happened I still tease my wife about our first kiss - how a very conservative, proper, young lady (with a reputation for being slightly prudish) not only kissed a man she had never met before (Me!) on the first date, but how it was definitely a REAL kiss.
Your guy may have used that "threat" of a passionate kiss to get clues of how you feel toward him in face-to-face, rather than long distance, interactions. Or he may have used it to gauge your overall attitude toward sexuality. Most guys would probably consider having a fling with a girl who passionately kisses an acquaintance she meets in the middle of an airport terminal, but when it comes to choosing a life partner they'd probably wonder about other guys she has greeted in that manner. (Do a search on "retroactive jealousy" in this Forum.) On the other hand - most guys live in mortal fear that they will get stuck with a wife who thinks sex should be done in the dark, as quickly and quietly as possible, and once - per child. If he also thinks your first kiss was "soft, sweet, and very romantic" you probably gave him all the information he was looking for. (Even though my wife and I were wedding-night virgins, I certainly KNEW there would be plenty of lovemaking AFTER marriage - and there was, and still is!)
Sounds like you'll be spending more face-to-face time together. That should be great! Sometimes folks ask my wife and I how we could marry only a year after meeting each other. Actually, starting off with the "LDR" was probably a significant factor. In retrospect, writing real letters back and forth, progressively more serious, was a good way for two quiet-and-shy people to get acquainted at a very personal level. Another factor was that most of our dating, especially the first few months, was as houseguests of each other's families. We picked up a LOT about each other by seeing how we interacted with our families in day-to-day situations.
And, it built trust and approval between each of us and the other's parents. (About 3 months after we first met I was helping her dad with an electrical wiring project when I asked about marrying his daughter. It was something on my mind that I intended to do, but hadn't planned for it to happen in that way. We were talking, and it just sort of happened. Rather matter of factly he said "Yeah - it's up to her, but that would be OK by me. You two seem to be a good match.". Then we continued on with what we were doing. I can't imagine such a conversation happening so naturally if I hadn't spent a fair amount of time with her parents and family.)
OK - I don't know if ANY of that sounds useful or even reasonable to you, but I wish you both the best! You are welcome to send a private message from time to time if you want to tell me how things are going.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): Hello everyone! I'm the original poster of this question!Well, we could not meet at the airpoort, because one of our flights was late, then the car rental there was a mix up ugh!! We ended up meeting ovr two hours later! But it went greatt!!!I was obviously too shy/nervous to kiss him and he did not try so we just had a small hug because he was very nervous too, we just looked at each others eyes and smiled. Later during dinner we had our first kiss! :) It was soft, sweet and very romantic... I loved it.It was so so so great THANK YOU for your ADVICE!!!It was so great, and honestly after being in person the chemistry we had ws extremely evident. We will close our LDR distance on a couple of months, that's how good things went. He is moving from his state to mine :DThanks for your advice! I hope I am as lucky as you :) He is a wonderful guy and I feel happy to have him on my life, and he is very happpy to have me on his :DTHANK YOU AGAIN!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 December 2012):
OK, you don't have to give a second-by-second account of "the kiss", but at least tell us: "How did things go for you?".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2012): Thank you!!!
No, you are not late at all! The meeting will happen at 8 pm tonight EST :) Im still very nervous!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 December 2012):
(Am I too late?) It sounds like this kiss is more of a show-off performance than a genuine expression of true affection. If he REALLY insists, then go along with it in a superficial, perfunctory way. But I think you should let him know beforehand that you're not really into brazen, public, displays of affection - and you'd prefer a situation and location where you are more comfortable expressing your feelings.
I've been in a similar situation. When I was 22 I met a girl (by mutual arrangement) at an airport. We had been writing to each other - real letters, on real paper, progressively serious - for about 3 months but had never laid eyes on each other. I don't think there was even a polite embrace at the airport, much less a kiss. The kiss DID happen - later that night, after our first date, when I took her back to where she was staying. And it was a SERIOUS kiss, a VERY REAL expression of feelings. One year plus two weeks after that very first meeting we married each other - and are still married lovers, over 38 years later.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (5 December 2012):
Yes, kiss, kiss like there is no tomorrow. When you first meet talking can be clumsey. Let your bodies do the communication. If the tension is to much to bear have a stiff drink first. Then see what happens. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (5 December 2012):
Been there before.
Even if HE gets nervous, make sure the first thing you do is KISS.
No Hi, No hellos, no hug. Don't let fear stop you from experiencing your true feelings. I gave this advice to a LDR couple 5 years ago. They are happily married today. All the best to you :)
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