A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I'm still at university and recently have been on a law placement and met a really nice guy. When I've pictured the man I will marry all my life, this is type of guy: intelligent, attractive, considerate, a gentleman, successful and friendly. He's all of these things and I've finally met someone who fits this: it's not all in my imagination!However, my boyfriend, although a very nice person and he treats me like a princess, does not have a good job, has no money and no prospects, is in a lot of debt and still lives at home with no prospect of getting out anytime soon. He also has a rather chequered past when it comes to women, something I haven't been brought up to accept and, I'm sure, the type of man I like, hasn't done all this. I don't know what to do. I can't be with this guy in particular, he has a girlfriend. But meeting him has shown me that the men I dream about are out there, although there may not be many. Am I being a snob? Or do I just want someone who has more in common with me? Then I think "why would someone like him look at someone like me?" and it's true but a girl can dream can't she?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):
Do you love your boyfriend?
Talk talk talk. Tell him how you see your future together. Tell him a man who loves you would get a job, have financial security, manage is debt and aim to move out from home. If your boyfriend loves you, he should start working on one of these things immediately. That said, sometimes it is a sad fact that women end up maturing quicker than guys in a relationship. Sadly sometimes a breakup is the only thing for a man to see that he needs to grow up, and grow up fast if he wants to be with a women.
Try fixing things with your bf first, otherwise you shouldn't have even ever been in a relationship with him because all relationships hit these kind of hurdles.
Also, when people are unhappy in a relationship they tend to see potential partners with rose tinted specticles - they seem to think they would be perfect for them! you should be very aware of this as it is usually how cheaters justify their actions.
A
female
reader, katelin +, writes (2 January 2007):
 i apologise for this, its been posted as an answer insteadof a question,sorry x
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A
female
reader, katelin +, writes (31 December 2006):
Hi everyone, thankyou for taking time to read this.
I have been with my bf for 6 years, however i cant help but feel neglected.
He never bothers with valentines, birthdays, anniversarys, he just never seems so spare a thought for me, its not like he doesnt celebrate, he just hasnt got time for me.
It was our 6 year anniversary in november 2006, as soon as i woke i text him to say happy anniversary, the text back was 'havnt got time to text'. Birthdays, he has got me cards before, but in the early years, valentines he took me to paris , but again in the early years, he wants to get married 1 day and have children with me, but i cant even imagine him proposing? he would have to think about me!!
Christmas has just gone, he took 3 of his staff out for a meal, he would never have taken me anywhere, i asked him to take me out, and he took me for a meal at the same place he took his staff, and it wasnt romantic, he moaned about being tired alot, and he doesnt talk much to me when hes eating, and dont get me started on new year tonight, were having a bit of a small party at my mums where i live (we have a house, but i wont move in untill i feel hes comitted and has time 4 me) yet i dont think hes coming, hes at his mums playing the xbox.
I just feel unwanted and unimportant, i have insecurity problems also, (thats another story) however hes just not interested.
He has his own business and works very hard,he even bought me a sports car, but its like i dont exist, what doi do, walk away?
im always last on his priority list, when i talk about the above, he just rolls his eyes.
Dont get me wrong, hes a good man deep down, he has his good points, and would never cheat. i just dont know what do do, i guess im spending new year without him tonight
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006): I think it is very important not to settle for what you have just to avoid being alone....you are very young if you are still in school and have many years ahead of you. You may not realize it now, but you will not be the same person that you are at 25, 30, and 40....if you settle for a guy that does not share your values and lacks the same drive for succeess that you have, he will not change and grow with you to your new level of being, and the relationship will most likely come to a painful end anyway.
You don't want this to happen after you have children with someone who will not fit you for a lifetime if you can help it...and who says you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled, you don't. It is always ideal to find someone when you don't actually need them, but want them in your life.....you want to be your authentic self, it sounds like you do not have the same background or values that your current boyfriend has so I am wondering are you pretending to be someone else in order to be compatible with him? If so why? If you yourself posess the same traits as the guy you seek, you will be more likely to attract him into your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): Go for something you like, rather than stay and possibly regret. If you go on through life, and near your end, you look back, would you have a sigh of satisfaction for the things you havd experienced, or would you have a sigh of regret for the things you wished you had experienced?
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