A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Several months have passed since my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me. We haven't spoken in almost two months. I'm ridiculously heartbroken and yet he was able to happily get on with his life as though nothing had changed for him. I wish I had that resolve...I miss him, but I don't have any hope that I could be with him. I can't stop feeling depressed and I find myself still thinking about him hourly everyday. I cry constantly and have also lost hope that I will find anyone that I could love so deeply again. Or, more accurately, I feel like I've lost the energy and desire to build up any sort of significant relationship with anyone. As a short summary, my ex promised me a beautiful future that I sincerely believed and then he cheated on me (which I didn't know until after he broke up with me) and became distant and bitter...There's no one in my life that I'm remotely romantically interested in anyway. I know I will be alone for a long time, and while I'm sure I can survive, it's frustrating because I feel very lonely right now.I've been considering antidepressants, as I've been diagnosed with clinical depression before, and (shamefully) somewhat recently I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I honestly do not want to kill myself, but most of the time I feel that I don't really belong "here"...I've also got medical issues and find myself at times (though rarely) overmedicating on prescriptions just to feel numb for a while.My friends are wonderful, but I feel guilty talking to them about my issues. I'm afraid of taking advantage of their kindness. I'm currently in college and I'm barely afloat in my classes, trying to keep my scholarship. I work as well and lead a relatively normal life, but I'm a very lonely person and I would just like some general advice.I don't even know what to do with myself. I feel like I can't go on this way. I want to be happy, but I don't know how to be.
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broke up, cheated on me, depressed, heartbroken, my ex, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): armywife is right.
You need to think about developing your support system - we all need one - anyone who thinks he or she can get along in this world alone is delusional. While you can gain strength and insight from the words of others, you also need to recapture your sense of inner worth and self-esteem.
I went through an agonizing period over the last 3-5 years in which I experienced a lot of what you describe. It was a downward spiral that had me addicted to alcohol, hating myself and crying over my lost love. You Will find someone who loves you more than your ex, who cheated on you. If you love yourself enough to hold out for the right one, you'll wonder why you ever accepted anything less than deep love and respect!
Definitely talk to folks on this site, and your friends, and don't feel guilty about it- that's what friends are for, as they say. Try to do your part in supporting them too - it can be a real boost to feel like an important part of someone else's support system!
I would recommend reading "Revolution From Within" by Gloria Steinem. It's not militant feminist stuff, just a really great, comprehensive take on what self-esteem really means and how to navigate the obstacles we all face, especially as women. It helped me a lot and I hope you read it!
Good luck sweetie.
XX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): You don't need one-time advice right now, it sounds more like you just need someone to talk to. We have wonderful agony aunts here and a list of our top answerers. Most of them would be more than happy to converse with you through private messages, as these are the ones who answer question after question, give good answers, and genuinly want to help people. You can message them, or myself anytime.
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