A
male
age
36-40,
*ason123
writes:Im in love with a girl whos married, we all live in the same house. She has 5 kids with her husband, and she is pregnant with my child, the baby is due in late may 09.At first we all was happy but then my g/f and her h/b split up becuz h/b sed he cudnt stand to see me with her, but she told him she had enuf love to go around, and we cud all be happy as 3 and they got back together. But now i cant stand to see her with h/b, and he cant stand to see me with her.I dont hate him i just dont want him to be with my g/f, so in a normal life i wud leave an let them get on with thire marriage, but since she is carryin my child i dont know what to do for the best. id like to leave but im scared she will make it difficult for me to see my son/daughter once he/she is born.If one day i say enuf is enuf an decide to go, what rights do i have in order to see that child?will i get visitaion rights?But if all this happens an i get to have him/her over the weekend or somthing, how will i cope as a single dad, becuz basicly i have no money for baby stuff....Anthoer thing that is playin on my mind...is that the child ay not be mine....we all have sex as 3 although h/b doesnt have intercourse with her as much as i do there is still that slight possiblity that the child cud not be mine.So how would i get on for a DNA test between me an h/b?Pls dont jugde me as iv ad all the agro off my family for getin into this realationship, so i dont need anymore. I just need advice...Please help.ThanksG/F = GirlfriendH/B = Husband
View related questions:
got back together, money, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jason123 +, writes (23 September 2008):
jason123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell for some reason he doesn't want me to go to my mom's today, so i asked h/s if he would take me, as he normaly does, and he sed no, because he's busy all day, and busy till Friday at least.In my opinon thats just an excuse....
A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 No judgement here. People do what motivates them and what they feel that is what makes us human.
Okay I'm not going to lie you are in a tough situation. I can see how you must be feeling. Do you let her go on with her husband and let him raise your child. Do you stay in this mixed up relationship?
Bottom Line here is no matter what you may be tied to her forever and to him if they stay together. And no offense this is why I keep telling my husband 3somes are bad... it just leads to trouble, but you are past that now.
You can be a single dad. Don't be scared to do it. And yes you will have rights if that child is yours and you do what you can to support that child monthly with support. Visitation and Child Support are two separate issues. And well we all know she isn't going to use the past against you because well, neither her or hubby have a right when they consented to the arrangement in the first place.
I would move out. I know that sounds harsh. But here is my problem with these situations. Either she is to be with you only, or be with her husband. Do you really want your child to grow up and see this is how a loving relationship is, without commitment to one person? Call me old fashioned but I think that is wrong for kids to see. They are impressionable.
You definitely need a DNA test and you can request one being the so called parent (father) biologically. I'd consult a legal aid lawyer on that.
Take it one step at a time. First I would tell her look I need to be in a monogamous relationship. It's healthier for me and for our child to see that. Make her choose.
And no offense. I realize you love this woman. But my God any mother who allows this type of living situation with her children around... of course she is loving it. What woman wouldn't want 2 men she's living with to be fighting for her honor? She is not being fair to you or her husband or her kids.
You have to do what is right for you. By the sounds of it being in this situation is not right for you. It's leaving you feeling unhappy, unwanted and jealous which isn't right.
You need to take some time and sort things out and I wish you the best of luck.
~ Abbeymom
...............................
|
