A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm almost 25 and I think I'm going through a quarter life crisis. I feel like I got married to early, and now I'm really starting to have doubts about things. I've been married for almost 5 years, which brings to total years with my husband to 7. I'm starting to freak out. Can you get cold feet after so many years of marriage? I have only ever slept with him, and never really ever wanted to be with any one else, but I'm thinking I've missed out on so much because of this one guy. I like being married and I love my family, but how do I not freak out. I don't know if I really love him, how could I possibly know? Sometimes it feels like I married the first guy that paid attention to me. I'm so confused, and scared. And we have kids, I don't know what to do.Does this just happen to people, will I just get over it? Is it a faze? I've heard of the 7 year itch, is it suppose to break the marriage? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you both for your answers. I know there is a lot missing, but how do you paraphrase your marriage? Right now, I'm just mad at my husband a lot, and stressed about kids I think I can only think about the bad. I wasn't sure if this is just normal. My mother and my sister both had marriages that didn't last 8 years. Maybe this is about the time in the marriage that things either break it or make it. I was just wondering how do you know when it was the wrong decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): hi, i was kinda in a similar situation myself but we aren't married. after 5 yrs however, i slept with someone else probably brought about by feelings like the ones you described. but - it was the biggest mistake of my life - just think about your life without this guy and how much he is a part of all the good things in your life, whether that means children or everyday things. if you can imagine yourself as a single woman taking on the world on your own (and i don't just mean for a few months when it might be fun) then perhaps you are not meant to be with your husband. if you stay with him and constantly resent the fact that you have 'missed out' on experiences when you were younger then it doesn't make for a healthy relationship. however, think about what exactly is it you are supposed to have missed out on - i thought about this a lot, and after having just about all my friends crying on my should after having being treated badly by their bfs etc then i realised that i didn't miss out on all that much after all. as the reply above points out, it's not really something that a stranger can answer for you, but think about things carefully before you make any decision. good luck.
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A
male
reader, peter_pan +, writes (23 September 2008):
Well, I don't know that giving you an actual answer to your question would be very appropriate -- considering that so many details & possible complicating factors are missing. But, I do want to recommend this movie to you: Juliet of the Spirits. It's an Italian film, so you'll have to bear with the subtitles. It kind of tracks the life of a woman going through a similar crisis - very Jungian (mid-life crises spur self-development & actualization, etc) ... maybe watching that will help you make up your mind?
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