A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, my friend and I told our mutual friend's mom that she was cutting herself and we don't know what to do! So last year the friend that's cutting herself, aka E, had alot of guy drama. She really liked this guy and a friend of hers told him twice and asked him out for her. He said no every time. She was really sad and cried about him hard. She continued to like him on and off for tge remainder of the year and was sort of obcessed with him. And we started to notice a decline in her. She was more tense, and gained like 15 pounds. (BTW, she used to write these strange stories about sex with the guy she liked and the main character's battle with bulimia. And the year before this she wouldn't eat anything but a bag of chips for lunch) Fast forward to this summer, when me and another friend (also good friends with e), aka B, where hanging out and we both recieved alarming texts from her. E said stuff like how she wanted to dissapear and that she was cutting herself. Me and B were horrified! We didn't know what to do but it ended as quickly as it started. By the end of the conversation, she said she simply just thinks too much and she promised she'd stop. We thought she was being honest. We looked up symptoms of depression and bulimia and being bipolar, and she didn't get much of the symptoms for depression or bulimia, but for being bipolar she got 7 out of 9. We said we'd do something, but nothing happened. Fast forward to this year, and E made alot of new friends, but quit dance because of her band schedule. She likes a new guy, but he is a junior (we are all freshman) and she doesn't thing he likes her. Today, she told me she was really close to starting again, and immediately i texted B. She also told B these things and was crying when she saw her. We decided enough was enough and at the practice of the sport me and B do, we called E's her mom and with difficulty told her. A few hours later when we allowed to check our phones, we had one missed call from E and one text saying "thanks so frickin much". Did we do the right thing? We feel guilty and that maybe we made a mistake. Any advice, tips, or what to expect is greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 November 2011):
 she secretly is very GLAD you told her mom because now her mom can get her help.
You did the right thing and E will forgive you and probably be friends for life with you... you created a special bond by helping her the way you did.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi! Thanks a bunch! Sorry for the late response, my internet was down. The next day was..peculiar. She said she was mad, but in this "trying to be mad but im really not" voice she does and i was being really bubbly and cheery as I usually am and on monday she still said that she was mad but started talking about the guy she likes. On tuesday, she didn't even mention her being mad. For B, it was a similar story. She even texted her saying "I wanna be friends but I'm still mad". Then she started talking about the guy she likes. I feel like this is somehow wrong. Shouldn't she be furious? Even B said that we might've lost our friendship with her. I fully expected for her to hate me until she was in a better mental state. She is barely mad. Why is she acting this way?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 November 2011):
 You did the right thing telling her mom. She was "crying" for help.
I just hope her mom actually does something about it.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Hi,
Sorry to hear about your friend. No, you did the right thing. You guys are good friends, and really care about her. You are at that age, when things are much difficult to understand. Specially when it comes to guys. It takes time to learn, and understand.
Your friend is very sensitive girl, and she needs more attention. I know she's upset now, but she will be grateful later. I am glad you told her mom, before things get more serious. This is a very serious matter, and should not be taken lightly. She needs help now, otherwise she will become a very unhappy adult.
She needs your help, her family's help, and professional help. She might even need to take medication to get better. Please, don't feel bad, you did the right thing, you guys probably save her life!
Best wishes / good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011): Yes you did the right thing by telling her Mum, but you shouldn't expect her to thank you for it, most likely she will be angry with you for a long while yet as she feels betrayed. Thing is you were being a great friend and you both did the right thing, her Mum needed to know and she needs to get help for her problems. She may not see this for a long time because of the problems she has, but eventually she will realise what wonderful she had and be thankful to have 2 friends who loved her so much. Good Luck and congratulations to you both for being so brave to tell her Mum.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (18 November 2011):
 OK E will probably be pissed an d pretend to hate you guys because E sounds crazy shes a little girl with some serious psychological problems. That said you did the rite thing what if she did cut her self and your going to her funeral with that text msg on your phone you will ask your self for the rest of your life why didn't you do anything. In my opinion if your going to kill your self dont tell other people because you make them an accomplice if they dont tell. Suicide is a crime so if someone tells you there going to attempt a crime your morally and legally obligated to report it. Ive been in this same situation and im like why the hell did you tell me that. the excuse was they just wanted someone to know what happened to them... i said well you could have left a detailed note. but now that i know i will tell everybody what you plan to do starting rite now. This girl is not your friend friends dont put each other in compromising situations like this. It was brave what you did i commend you it was the rite thing.
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