A
female
age
41-50,
*odkablue
writes:im really fed up with my life.im 34 years old.ive recently split with my boyfriend.i feel such a fool. i met him when i worked at my old job when i was with my fiance back then who also used to work there.my fiance then never used to show me mych care or attention and even though i would mention this he didnt really do anything.i looked after him very well and paid for lots of stuff. i was working with the guy i just split from then and i became friends with him and im ashamed to say he used to pay me a lot of attention and as i was receiving none from my fiance i was flattered by this.eventually i split with my fiance-it was very messy we had a house together but i had a low credit score so even though we made equal payments on the mortgage he sold it and didnt give me any. he said i was more than friends with my boyfriend then which was not true.a while later i did start dating my boyfriend-i dont know if it was because he showed me attention or loneliness but i have stayed in this situation with him for the past 5 years.he as taken so much money from me ive had to seek debt managementhe has hardly shown me any affection during the time together.he regularly puts me down and calls me paranoid8 weeks ago i had enough-luckily my sister let me come and stay with her but this guy has got me feeling so low im atill paying 90%of everything in the flat we used to share because he says im making him homeless-i feel like dog dirt.then 3 months ago i heard my first ex had gotten married and i cant explain why but it was all too much i just burst into tears and couldnt stop crying.at the moment im in a dead end job i feel really old i dont have a lot of friends and just feel like dirt.i feel like i deserve all of this happening to me and regularly torment myself that i deserve all this. please can someone give me some advice thankyou
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): No no no! Of COURSE you don't deserve this!! You need to stop paying the bills on your ex's flat IMMEDIATELY!!! Who gives a flying F**K if this selfish, HORRIBLE and immature IDIOT gets made homeless?? Are you his mother??!! Focus on YOURSELF FOR ONCE!!
Cut him out of your life - he sounds like a complete waste of fresh air. Then focus on getting your life and your confidence back! indulge in some hobbies, find a new job or re train in something you've always wanted to do. Get out and about, meet new people, make friends, join clubs, just don't sit at home and ponder...that will only make you feel worse.
Also try looking for your own place - even if it's just a room in a house, you've got to start somewhere and get yourself back on your feet. You'll feel better when you've got somewhere to call your own.
Most of all believe in yourself and realise that you are just as significant as any other human being on the planet!! And one day you will meet the right person :)
Good luck and take care of yourself :)xx
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