A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My brother got into a serious accident yesterday, I ran out of work to see him. It was my old car I had left for my mom to go to work. The car was demolished. I was counting on that car for income and now I'm in such financial trouble I can't sleep. I'm glad my brother is alive and doing okay. He's blaming himself a lot but still-he's my only brother. I don't blame him. While all this is going on, I had called my boyfriend of one year and told him what happened. He expressed some concern and that was it. I come home and find him gone. Off to play soccer maybe and see his friends while I'm going through one of the worst days of my life. I get it that he might have felt like it wasn't his place to be in the hospital but after...? I couldn't look at him. He knows how I feel about hospitals. The last time I saw my dad, he was dying on a hospital bed. To see my brother who looks so much like him on the same bed crushed me. A friend of mine called me, asked if I was okay since he didn't see me at work and very gently told me I needed to eat and rest. He ended up taking me to a dinner and trying to cheer me up and he succeeded by reminding me that it could've been so much worse. He kept me laughing with stupid stories and was really nice. I got home and my boyfriend is in bed on his iPad. I shower and read to relax me and say nothing. Couldn't look at him I was so mad. I woke up early to go pick up the car, he said he'd come and fell right back asleep. I left. I'm panicking like crazy on the inside cause this puts my family in a very tough situation. Part of me says break up with my be and move back in with my family. I care about him but more and more it feels like he's not ready to be the kind of man I think I need. My family means a lot to me but he can't get that.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2016):
 You should be honest with him, talk to him, tell him how he has made you feel. He does sound like a cold person. If he cannot be there for you when you need him, then he may not be the person for you.
Is this behavior a once off or is he always this distant? It could be just who he is therefore you need to talk to him and try and work it out before you end things.
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (24 September 2016):
 It sounds like your boyfriend is either callous, clueless or both. Or maybe he doesn't have a very close relationship with his own family and isn't able to successfully imagine himself in your shoes, but either way, it sounds like he's not the best fit for you as a partner. I'd be upset too if my partner brushed off a situation that was so personally and financially scary for me.
As far as I can tell from your post, your BF had two separate chances to be a supportive, empathetic partner. First when you called to tell him about the accident, and then when you came home from dinner. It appears he failed miserably both times, basically choosing to ignore the subject and continue with what he felt like doing (soccer, iPad). I can't say I blame you for feeling low on the list of priorities!
It might be worth it to bring your feelings up to him and ask why he wasn't more supportive of you on such an awful day. Maybe there's a valid explanation for his actions - only you can be the judge of that, as you know his situation and can likely tell when he is lying to you. But if he doesn't have a good reason for why he acted the way he did, then yes, it's probably time to let him go and look for someone who CAN be there for you when you need it.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes.
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