A
female
age
36-40,
*olkadotprincess
writes:ok so i got married 6 months ago, amazing wedding it was truly a fairy tale, long story short, :myself:extremely creative is fond of making things, clothes, bows, drawing - artistic, painting, animal fond, rock/metal music also girly music and films i like a drink... i have heart and lung disease and can be extremely ill with it. have 25 tablets a day to keep me alive.my husband: due to redundancy is unemployed, almost a year he has been unemployed and activley looks for work... his interests are xbox, recent hobby of fishing, likes films, animal fond, beat line/bass line music, weight lifting... a lot of beer.we was a couple for almost two years before we were married, he was lovley watched even girly films in the begining etc since marraige:rarley are seen close, we banter but thats how we are i guess, we have both put on 3 stone each, and whereas i dont care if he is weighty or not he constantly takes the mick out of me name calling, or when i eat he says should you really have that you don't need the fat going on you. (my sister inlaw and i had a joke ofifwe wanted a cig we would say id love a macdonalds, he heard this , laughed and said she doesnt need a maccy ds she is too fat already)i asked him if i put another stone on would you be with me he said no, i would leave you-he was been serious.my brother's (aged 17) best friend died who i have known for a long time died in a car crash and recieved a text from my mum saying can she ring me she has some bad news, when i told him he had died he said 'well it could have been worse she could have told you a family member had died' and i thought he was so insensitive but he said i was being morngy.i dont want to bad mouth him. truth is . i cant leave, i love him and am scared...His family are scroungers and barley chipped in for the wedding, mine paid thousands and the main reason i dont leave is because they spent so much money, i know it isnt all about money and they would rather see me happy but i feel guilty, alot of effort of my familys side was put in to it, plus i have the view of if you get married, you make it work. i am so unhappy. moved totally different areas ,streets between his whole family, barley see mine who i was extrememly close to and all his family do is take the mick out of me and make me feel like crap. and often reduce me to tears...he always takes there side.i love him but i want to turn back time, i want some one who spoils me, loves me takes care of me, his resoning is beat up the person if they upset me and he doesnt ever treat me, i knw he is out of work but the kind of person i am if he brought home a few daisys i would be estatic. he says thats tacky :( maybe i am in the wrong? just to note, he is never and will never be violent towards me, is not in his nature.
View related questions:
best friend, money, text, violent, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I understand how hard it to is to love someone but not be sure whether you should walk away. In this case, I think you need to walk away. He sounds like a boring type, sure.. and insensitive at the worst of times, but the reason I think you need to call it quits is because of the insults about your appearance! It sounds as though being with him will destroy your own self confidence.From reading your post, I imagine you're a lot like me.. and I'm angry about how my life's turned out also.. because I'm the sort of person who would be over the moon to receive a few daisies too! But it doesn't happen for me either.You sound like a really lovely, genuine person and you don't deserve to be insulted by his family. It sounds like you've made a lot of sacrifices in this marriage i.e. moving far away from family who you were very close to.. having to put up with insults from your husband and his family. Unfortunately from what you've described, it sounds like he sees you as more of a convenience than someone he truely loves and wants to be with.Girls like you are a rarity.. believe me. I believe that about myself. Most of my gfs use men to get what they want.. expect gifts bought for them.. call the shots as far as planning out their futures. It sounds as though you haven't put any unndeserved pressure on this man, but all you're asking for is to be treated with love and respect, what's wrong with that?The fact he takes his family's side after they've insulted you is pathetic. I would be angry about that if I were you! You are married.. you are united.. a unit.. a team. He should be defending YOU to his parents!! He should be saying, "I love this woman, if you are not going to treat her with dignity than you are not welcome in our home!"If I were you, I would move back in with your family, let them give you the emotional support you deserve while you look at finding your feet and starting a new life. All the best honey. I hope my advice has helped. Remember that you don't deserve this shit ok? You deserve respect and love!
A
female
reader, Seshen  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 First off, never ever question your heart. I don't believe you are "in the wrong". It seems like you both had a good connection and of course, you feel deeply for him. Which is why you need to work at it, you can't give up now and it doesn't sound like you are convinced you want to completely either. It sounds like you need to tell him EXACTLY how you are feeling and your thoughts on your relationship. Second, are you scared of him or your feelings about the whole situation? Strong emotions like that can warp your decisions and thought processes. Perhaps you need time away from each other if he won't listen to you. You need to let him now how serious your thoughts are. (Without threatening though! women always do that :0) Perhaps all I have done is confuse you more, but hopefully you find something of use in my answer. All the best!
...............................
A
female
reader, Lotsalove.  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 "i love him but i want to turn back time, i want some one who spoils me, loves me takes care of me.."
Why cant you have that?
I understand your family paid alot for your wedding, but I can guarantee your parents would rather have wasted a significant amount of money, than have their daughters happiness wasted away.
Screw this low-life, he hasnt got a job, therefore hes not supporting you, he's emotionally abusing you, he's knocking your confidence, he's giving you low self-esteem, he's insensitive and sounds like a complete waste of space!!! Yes you love him, but if you want all the above things you mentioned then go and get them!
Walk away now or be unhappy forever?
...............................
|
