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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I’ve been married for 25 yrs I am 52 and my wife is 50 we have 2 children 18 and 21.My spouse is a great mom and friend and I love her very deeply as a friend and the mother of my children, nothing else. We have no chemistry in the bedroom (we never did), over the years, I learned to live with what I have and made the best of what we had, it was never bad since we always got along very well. I’ve had 4 sexual encounters with other women in my 25 yrs of marriage for sex only; 7 months ago I meet this 40 yr old woman when she started working with a company I do business with. It started as a working relation and within 2-3 weeks it developed into this amazing friendship, we have so much in common. We found ourselves wanting to spend more and more time together, and asking what are we doing? We started a sexual relation after 5-6 weeks of meeting, please keep in mind even thou we have amazing sex it has never been a very active sexual relation because of my situation, we will meet after work and have a cocktail, maybe see a concert, we also spend time because of the work issue. I found myself falling in love with her and so did she! After we realized we loved each other so much we decided to wait until my youngest goes to college for me to ask for a divorce. Things got bad at home, my wife started questioning my lack of sexual desire because I wasn’t asking anymore, she was very suspicious I would get home 2-3 hrs later than normal, etc (I spend my 25 yrs of marriage begging for sex, and when we did it was awful). My girlfriend and I because of business had the opportunity to take a trip together…it was pure bliss…nothing but perfection.When we came back, we knew we needed to be together, however we didn’t want to wreck anyone’s lives, I started by telling my family and everyone of them has been extremely supportive and they are all very happy for me (my wife has lots emotional issues, doesn’t get close to anyone has barely any friends, my life as . Finally, my wife confronted me 2 weeks ago and I told her everything the whole truth, we spent 4 days at home taking, she is emotionally broken and I want to make sure I’m there for her but I also want to be with my girlfriend and have a future with her. I don’t know what to do now, I’m torn and want to do the right thing by my wife and children, at the same time we all my wife, me and girlfriend deserve to be happy…my wife and I have never had what I have now with my girlfriend, we deserve to be happy and live to our fullest. Please help, any advice would be welcomed.
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female
reader, Hornyashell  +, writes (11 September 2010):
I agrre with the previous answer to a degree. Yes...you your wife deserves the chance to work on thing in your marraige. Did she ever know how you felt? Di you ever try to work things out in counceling?
However, 25 years is a long time to not be happy. Do you you really think that you have found true love in 7 months, or have you found something new and exciting? It is your life, you have to answer for your decision. Just remember that once you go down that road you may not be able to make a u turn to get your family back.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 You're throwing away 25 years over 7 months of hot sex. You're in a hurry to run off and start a new life for yourself, but you honestly haven't earned the right to do that yet. You blame your wife for your marital issues (she's bad in bed, she has emotional issues), but what have you done to make things better?
If you truly want to do right by your wife and children, don't cheat your way out of this marriage; go into marital counseling with your wife to see if your family can be saved. She's devoted half her life to you and the children; the least she deserves is an opportunity to work with you to see if your marriage is worth saving. Agree to six months to a year of counseling and a commitment that you will devote all of your energy and emotion to the therapeutic process. That means putting what you want--and what your girlfriend wants--on the back burner and trying to actually honor your wife and show her the respect she deserves. If things don't get better, you've earned the right to walk away and can do so knowing you gave it all you had.
Are you willing to do things the hard way or are you going to take the easy out?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): You just met this latest floozy and she was flat on her back with her legs dangling in the air and her panties on the floor. Speaks volumes of her. I find it so ironic that you called this homewrecker your girlfriend. She is your mistress / lover, not your gf! Think aboiut this- she had no qualms of doing another womans husband. You are so flattere being in your 50s to have a younger woman run after you. You are flattered, you are besotted, you are in your element bec the sex on the sly is so good. Of course the *hore makes you feel 20 years younger, tells you what yiu want to hear, drops her panties at an instance. She is not taking care of a home, kids,family life. This woman is a user, a userper and she kniws how to make an old man feel wanted. Perhaps you need to stop thinking with your penis and start being realistic.
My dear 52 year old OP, I will not tell you to stay married to your wife because I believe your wife deserves better. I believe your wife deserves someone decent and good. You claim your sex life with her is intolerable, I agree, if you were such a good lover, how come your wife has never had an orgasm in her life? Why have you not taught her how to please you. Not a very good lover to the wife, dammit after 25 years of course the sex is somewhat predictable, somewhat stale. The hot 40 year old poacher knows that all she has to do is drop her pants and you are game. Have you ever given your wife oral sex? I am sure you are indulging the new woman. Have you seen to your wifes sexual pleasures before indulging yourself. Have you been an attentive lover to your wife? Without yiu answering me, I know that you have failed miserably at pleasing your wife.
Having said the above, go ahead and leave your wife for the hot 40 year old. Do you think she will be around when you hit 60 and beyound. Do you think she will inverst in your life
When the novelty of sex wears out. I predict that you will divorce yur wife, spend approx 2 years with the hot sex partner and then spend the rest of your life coming to terms with the mess of your life. Your hot *hore would have moved on to another, because that is her modus operandi. You don't need to look into a crystal ball to see this future. But please do not take my word for it.
-LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): why wait for 25 years before destroying your wife. you have had sexual encounters before so what is different with your lastest f@ck toy? if you knew that you felt nothing for your wife for 25 years why wait all this time. stealing 25 years from someone is an aweful thing to do.of course your sex life with your wife is aweful : you have been banging another woman, what do you expect? you are a very cery stategic and conniving man. i am glad C Crant said "Really you're just looking for someone to let you off the hook for the guilt you feel about your wife. Your family seems prepared to do that, which is a big help." Hits this right on the head. you have strategically sought the acceptance of friends and family. you have connivingly got their support and approval for your affair. wow! what a strategist!you have made up your wind to destroy your wife and kids lives so nothing i say will matter, would it? all i can say is becareful of that wheel turning, you may wake up one day and realise that you have a conscious after all.-LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 There's a long answer to this and a short answer. The short answer is: it sounds like you've made up your mind already -- you and your g/f deserve to be happy. Really you're just looking for someone to let you off the hook for the guilt you feel about your wife. Your family seems prepared to do that, which is a big help.
You've cheated on your wife in the past, but justify it as "just sex". That says that you consider your marriage vows to be flexible rather than 'for better and for worse, forsaking all others until death do you part.' OK, that's pretty common these days, so accept it and move on.
Given what's gone on, doing the right thing by your wife almost certainly starts with a divorce. But if she has a bunch of issues as you allude, then she'll probably need financial support for the rest of her life. After 25 years, I'm sure you'd agree that such support ought to be generous.
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A
female
reader, celisse +, writes (10 September 2010):
life isnt about sex so keep that in mind, and if your wife is upset then that should show you that she probably still loves you. dont fall for the 80% 20%
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