A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I started dating as freshmen in high school. He was my first everything....I never even held hands with another guy before or ever since. We are currently 29 and have been married for 6 years with one child. Even before we got married, I had lost that feeling of butterflies and goosebumps that I had once had when we first started dating. Since college, I have pursued new interests and have always tried to be passionate about something. He has taken the path of lulling thru life going wherever I go. He has gained 50lbs and has not zest or passion for life. Our sex life sucks....I just dont' feel anything anymore. Don't get me wrong, he's the best guy in the world. We talk everyday and enjoy each other's company and he's definitely my best friend. I went on a trip to Las Vegas recently and met a guy that gave me an OVERWHELMING sense of butterflies...it has been 10 years since I felt that way. We didn't do anything and I haven't talked to him since but I kept help but wonder what sex would have been like. I confessed everything to my husband...again, because we are like best friends and he is distraught and promises to hit the gym everyday (although it's unlikely b/c he's said that before). His father is way overweight (300+lbs) and I know he is headed straight for that path. What do you do when you have such a strong emotional connection with your husband but just aren't physically attracted to him anymore???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Boy +, writes (14 July 2010):
It's really shallow to not wanna be with your husband just because he gained weight. It's alright to want him to stay in shape and not look like a couch potato but it's really messed up to ever end a marriage because of that. Not feeling the butterflies and everything for him is natural because so many people are head over heels for the one they love. He's the only guy you've ever been with so you start getting curious. Sometimes it leads to cheating but if you do that then you'll realize really quick that you made a mistake. Talk to your husband about sex but don't divorce him cuz of that. Sex is no reason to get a divorce no matter what anybody says. It makes no sense to fall in love with someone for who they are and divorce them just for sex. That makes absolutely no sense and no explanation will justify divorcing because of sex. We go so long without sex so how does it all of a sudden become important? People always say sex is not love yet they divorce the ones the love because of it. Explain that. You can't because there is no explanation. Never cheat on him because of sex or because he's overweight just talk to him about it. If he just doesn't show you he loves you or cares about how you feel , then get a divorce
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